A New Kind of Threat
by Brainiac5
Summary: What happens when you mix two ninja, a mutant freak on the run from the US Military and Cobra? Madness, in essence. Ninja centered, OC, slightly AU, Sigma6 'verse.
1. Enter, Philip Masterson

A/N: Okay, so this is my first Joe fic, though I've brainstormed with Asterisk78 before. Since this is my first fic, please be as critical as possible- though flames aren't desireable- so that my next fic won't be as OOC, or stupid, or boring, or whatever complaint you might have. This is kind of a more OC centered fic at first, but more Joes show up later, so please be patient- I'm only focused on my OC because you need to know his history to understand the story. In other words, inthese first few chapters any and all action will slow to a crawl... Just as a note, they aren't really on the run from the secret service, they were bored and decide to scare an innocent passer-by to ward of boredom. It gets explained around chapter five or so. Stormy's on the Joe team right now- you can invent your own reasons as to why... (have fun with that) I dont' own G.I. Joe, or Star Wars. I _**DO**_ own Philip Masterson and Invectus. They're mine... all mine...

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**Chapter One: Enter, Philip Masterson**

_**-Philip Masterson-**_

It was just another one of those days when life was going wrong. It happens, you know? You're just walking down the road when trouble runs into you…literally.

"Heads up!" Someone shouted. I glanced up in time to see two guys in ninja outfits jump off of a building. Normal people would freak out, right? I'm not normal, though. More on that later.

These two ninja guys- or who I thought were ninja, maybe they were just insane- landed, rolled to their feet and glanced at each other. The one on the left -or right, from where they stood- wore a mostly white suit with red intermittently splashed around. It was probably supposed to look menacing, but it just reminded me of a candy-cane. Yeah, I'm weird like that.

The other one wore black and possibly a few other colors, but so little that you wouldn't know. He reminded me of a briquette, you know, one of those little charcoal things you stick in barbeques. And he had these really cool shades. I wondered where he'd found them. Of course, my shopping nowadays mostly consists of finding the nearest Goodwill store and hoping they have my size jeans and tees, so even if he'd got them somewhere normal for most people, I probably wouldn't end up there anyway.

"We need a hostage," The candy-cane said to the briquette.

Briquette nodded, apparently the strong, silent type, or something like that.

Candy-cane moved towards me like a dog catcher cornering a stray. Slowly he unsheathed a very large, very intimidating sword. "Don't worry, we just have to hold on to you until we reach our hideout, then we'll kill you," He reassured me.

Wow. Just what I wanted, to be taken captive by killer ninja. I pulled back into what I hoped was a fighting stance. "No."

"Come on, _please?_ If you come quietly, I don't have to knock you out. You look like a nerd, and my head shots could knock a couple hundred IQ points out of your head," He argued. "I don't want to have to do that, but the Secret Service _is_ after us."

Mr. Briquette sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

"Don't act like all of this was my fault!" Candy-cane snapped, turning around to glare at his partner-in-crime. Then, turning back to me, he sheathed the sword. "Come on, kid," He said, "Just do what I say and I won't hurt you."

"You'll just kill me," I shot back.

Candy-cane sighed. Somehow his attitude reminded me of Han Solo, from Star Wars. Cocky with a weary-of-the-world attitude and a definite knack for sarcasm. Oh yeah. And his irritating habit of saying 'kid'.

"Look, kid, I don't want trouble, so either try and resist now and die painfully, or die later with a swift and painless deathblow."

"Wow, what an option," I snorted, glaring at the ninja resembling a peppermint candy. "I think I'll vie for option three- the one where I run away."

"I'm not going to let you just walk away," Candy-cane shot back.

"That's implying you can touch me," I snapped, relaxing and letting the strength of Invectus take over.

"All right, that's it! I _hate_ cocky kids!" He snarled. "Come on, Snake Eyes!"

Briquette-the-ninja stepped back, gesturing at me as if to say _"one of us could take him. Go ahead."_

Candy-cane came at me and I moved out of the way- speed and reflexes in top performance. He kept swinging, and I kept dodging. I caught him in the ribs with a gentle kick- he flew back fifteen feet before being caught by his kind friend… had he called him 'Snake Eyes'?

"What the… Who are you?!" Candy-cane demanded, staggering to his feet and clutching his ribs. "What kind of _freak _are you?!"

"The inhuman kind," I retorted, anger bubbling up inside me. When I'd contracted the Invectus virus, it had changed my DNA. See, most viruses enter your body and 'hijack' a cell, using their own DNA to make the cell produce and assemble viruses. The process continues until the cell is so full it explodes and all the viruses are released, free to hijack other cells. Invectus, however, is different. It's the only one in the Symbiovirus classification, which basically means that it's DNA completely combines with your DNA, and it only makes a couple more viruses sending them out of the cell via osmosis, where they can infect the rest of your body.

Invectus disables the distress signals Cells usually send out to warn the immune system, so by the time your white blood cells figure out there's a problem, the virus has already won. When Invectus is done, every single one of your cells contains viral DNA, DNA that makes them stronger, faster and smarter. I never get sick and I barely work out, but I stay completely fit.

Unfortunately, there is one terrible side-effect. When the virus invades your brain cells, it causes them to react differently when faced with Hormones and other chemicals which cause emotions. Because of this, my emotional state is an eternal roller coaster, highs and lows that no medication could fix. Believe me, I've tried. As the months have gone by, I've gotten better at controlling and subduing my emotions. Invectus thrives on the darker emotions; hatred, fear, depression. But slowly I've been coming back, learning how to use this inhuman body of mine.

This attempted kidnapping is a perfect example. Had Invectus, my split personality, the Virus side of me, been in control, I probably would have kicked the red-and-white ninja into the wall at full strength, he would have made a rather large dent in the solid cement, and I might have even walked over and calmly dislocated his shoulder and listen to him scream in pain and smile, knowing I was the stronger of the two.

Fortunately for him, Invectus was not in control. See, Viruses don't show mercy- they can't. After all, a Virus consists of nothing more than a mere strand of DNA and a protein shell. There's not a whole lot of room for extra baggage. Which is why my life became very interesting with emotionless DNA trying to mix with Human DNA- Human DNA, informing the body it's time for adolescence, therefore flooding the brain and the rest of the body with hormones. In a nutshell, it took awhile to learn to control a Virus gone wild on chemical stimulants it'd never felt before.

The good news is that I can usually control Invectus, and so instead of tearing Candy-cane's arms out of their sockets, I'd simply bruised a few ribs- I think. I'm so much stronger it's hard to gauge how much damage I'm actually doing. It gets especially hard when Invectus wants me to kick harder.

As it was, the black-suited ninja glanced at me, helped his buddy up and pulled him down the street in an obvious and tactless retreat. He was running for his life, and he knew it. Even though I should have just left it at that and gone on with my life, I decided not to. Instead, I decided to follow them. Maybe because I was curious as to why the Secret Service was after them, maybe because I recognized the candy-cane ninja from the only episode of 'America's Most Wanted' I'd ever seen. Whatever it was, I headed off in the same direction, keeping my eyes on the two uniquely outfitted ninja.

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

Snake Eyes raced down the street, halfway supporting me because of that powerful kick I'd taken to my right side. Glancing behind us, I sighed. "He's still following us, Snake," I muttered. "Why won't he go away?"

Snake shrugged in reply, suddenly breaking off and swerving into yet another alley, reappearing back on the sidewalk and dragging me over the white lines of a crosswalk into the outdoor market on the other side of the street. We tangoed with the customers, waltzed our way around the vendors and jived our way out the other end. Okay, enough with the dance metaphors. Basically, we wound our way in confusing circles and then dashed back over the same crosswalk and headed off in the same direction we'd been going before our little detour. What kind of freak was that kid, anyway? He'd said he was inhuman, but that was probably for dramatic effect. I mean, really. What was he, an extra-terrestrial? A freaky Frankenstein thing? Some human-gorilla hybrid? He wasn't even that hairy!

Needless to say, I figured it was some sort of stunt on his part. Maybe he was an agent for some enemy ninja clan. The Arashikage had been pretty lucky in the lack of secret ninja wars department, but who really knew how long something like that would last?

After a minute I glanced behind us again and barked a laugh. The kid was calmly strolling along the street, bouncing into a couple hip-hop moves, or jogging up to a storefront, watching us in the reflection for a moment before slouching back onto the sidewalk and bouncing his way down the street as though dancing to some invisible music in his head. On top of that, he was keeping pace with us… mainly because we were trying so hard to lose him we weren't _going _anywhere!!!

"Oh come on!" I snapped. Snake glanced down at me, and I knew we had to figure out something else. "See that tall building?" I said, "We're going in, climbing out of a window and jumping onto that small bakery. From there we drop into the alley and from there, we head _home_." I said.

Snake gave me a concerned look.

"I'm going to be fine. My ribs are already feeling better," I lied.

Snake shrugged and we dashed into the store and up several dozen flights of stairs…not really, but it sounds dramatic. We took the elevator up and down floors a few times before finally realizing that none of the windows would open and broke one, jumping out. It caused quite a ruckus, and I knew we'd have to get away fast not to draw attention to our window so the kid could observe us flee the scene of the crime. Snake and I checked quickly for any sign of the freak, and, seeing nothing, took off.


	2. A window, A Virus, and The Freak

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**Chapter 2: A Window, A Virus, and The Freak**

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_**-Storm Shadow-**_

After our little detour, we saw neither hide nor hair of that freaky little freak for the whole trip back to my apartment. I mean, it may sound cool to call your hideout a warehouse when you're threatening some kid, but in reality, warehouses are big, bulky, obvious, and nowhere near as comfortable as my home. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to just wander in the main doors of the building. No way. Security would freak if they saw two ninja randomly ride an elevator up to their floor…

Instead, Snake and I slipped in the window and quickly removed our suits, weapons and other various things normal people do not wear on a regular basis. After painfully changing into street clothes, I plopped onto the couch and imagined the sorts of torture I could inflict on The Freak, (as I was now calling him) should I ever see him again… provided it not be within the next ten or so hours. A lot of the pain I was planning to cause involved me using my torso in some way, and my ribs were not yet up to the challenge. Leaning back, I glared at the ceiling and sighed. "This stinks."

Snake glanced at me and shrugged. _"Sorry about your ribs,"_ he said.

I shrugged. "At least we'll never see him again." For a few moments, we were both silent, just thinking.

Then the window started talking. "Are you Storm Shadow?" The window asked.

"Yes, that's me," I replied before realizing that windows don't talk. I sat up, wincing. "What the-" I glared at The Freak, who calmly slid into the room.

"Yo," He said, as though people are always sliding into _my room _through _my window _and brazenly tooting _my secret identity _for the _entire world _to hear.

"What-what?! Who, how, where, why…?!" I sputtered.

"When. Don't forget 'when'," The Freak said, as though finishing my sentence. "It's the five W's and an H, not the four W's and an H." He cocked an eyebrow in my direction. "So this is the infamous Thomas Arashikage? You're not exactly on top of things if I can follow you all the way here."

"How dare you?!" I snapped, and then realized something. "How do you know my name?"

The Freak shrugged. "I know a lot of things. There are a lot of things to know."

"That doesn't answer my question." I shot back.

"Ninja are supposed to be masters of the art of deception. I wasn't fooled once. You've lost your touch," The Freak said, ignoring my comment.

"Oh, shut up!" I snapped. "Who are you, what do you want, and how do you know the Arashikage?!"

"I know a lot of secret organizations- or, well, know _about _them." The Freak shrugged. "They tend to fight over me. I've been stuck in a couple of interesting situations-- the four SWAT teams don't count, they were easy to get rid of." He frowned. "Come to think of it, so were the FBI guys, and those fancy-suits from the US Military didn't do so well either. It's far easier to escape from a Navy SEAL than they would have you know," He commented, talking as though he'd actually _done_ stuff like this.

"What are you talking about?!" I demanded.

"But I can't keep doing this. I need sleep, after all," he glanced at me. "Besides, you're also wanted by most world governments, right?"

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

I watched Thomas grow bright red as he glared at the high-school age kid before him. "I don't know what you're talking about!" He snarled.

The kid shook his head and grinned. I noticed that behind the _very_ nerdy glasses and bad haircut, he really didn't look half bad. Sure, he was a little short, but then, so is Thomas, though not _that_ short.

"So, you think I honestly would let you stick around here? You practically _broke_ my ribs!!" Thomas snapped, and I tuned back into the conversation.

"I'm sorry," the kid said honestly. "I'm still having trouble gauging my strength. I didn't mean to kick you that hard."

"Of course you didn't," Thomas muttered.

The kid leaned forward, eyes flashing. "Look, I'm sick of worrying. I need someone who won't rat on me. I can't just be alone anymore- too much is at stake!!"

Thomas yawned. "I missed the part where this is my problem."

"I know you were a terrorist, but you aren't anymore. I'll tell you where the problem is: It's when some _other_ terrorist organization gets a hold on the information I have! No one can know- _no one!!_" the kid was practically shouting, and it sounded like his voice was breaking.

Thomas blinked, face still. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Shrieking in a sudden burst of fury, the kid turned and slammed his fist into the wall. I felt the floor shudder slightly beneath my feet.

Thomas closed his eyes, reclining languidly. "How about we make a deal," he said slowly. I recognized the tone. Thomas was trying to negotiate with this…emotional bomb just waiting to explode. I felt like slugging the moron.

The kid turned around, shoulders heaving. "What?" He snarled.

"You get me the kind of strength you have, and I'll help you out." Thomas opened one eye. "Whadda' you say?"

The kid looked ready to burst, and I got ready to jump for the trench knives I'd hidden under the couch. After a moment though, his shoulders slumped and he stared at the floor. "Believe me," He muttered, "You don't want the strength I have."

"I believe I do," Thomas replied, eyes once more closed, still leaning back, looking totally at ease. Probably because he was used to dealing with crazy people. He'd had enough experience, what with working for Cobra and all.

"All right then… you don't want the side-effects," the kid replied, turning and glancing out the window.

I wondered what he was talking about.

Thomas opened one eye. "What, is it like steroids? You don't look like you're on 'roids."

The kid sighed. "I'm _not_," He frowned. "I would never put any synthetic hormone in my body unless absolutely necessary, and even then, never one that could cause the kind of damage that steroids do."

Thomas closed his eye again. "Okay then, why are you complaining about your stuff's side effects then?"

"Because it isn't a synthetic hormone," the kid replied. "It's a virus."

I frowned. I knew some things about viruses, and I knew that they usually made you sick, not strong- for one thing. There was probably more, like the fact that an out-of-control virus can kill you, and that this kid was obviously not sick…except for maybe a little sick in the head. I mean, he didn't exactly seem like a normal high-schooler. Way too conniving, like he hadn't spent enough time in front of the television. He seemed, I don't know, older. Almost… sinister. I don't know. But he wasn't normal, you could tell.

"How interesting," Thomas said. "A virus. A virus that gives you super-strength and doesn't kill you, but still has side effects." He sat up suddenly, both eyes open. "What kind of _moron _do you take me for?!" he snapped.

_**-Philip Masterson- **_

I just stared at Storm Shadow. If he didn't believe me, that wasn't my problem. "Have you ever heard of Invectus?" I said.

"Uh, no," he replied. "I think you mean '_infectious'_."

Glaring at him, I continued. "I know what I said. _Invectus_ is a virus. The name is an acronym that stands for _Infecting Viral Entity Commencing Threatening Unparalleled Symbiosis_."

"Wow. A kid who talks like a dictionary," Storm Shadow said. "Mind giving me a translation?"

"It's the only virus in the Symbiovirus classification. It's a virus that, when it attacks your body, does something very different from a normal virus. Instead of simply hijacking a cell, it…" I trailed off and sighed. Then, forcing myself to continue, I glanced up. "Instead of hijacking the cell and forcing it to create viral parts, it completely merges with your DNA." I looked at them and realized they didn't understand. "I'm not completely human anymore!" I snarled. "I'm a virus. A walking, breathing, feeling, living virus!"

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

I was having a hard time deciding whether to be angry or laugh. I finally decided on the latter and snorted. "Ha!" I crowed. "Now you want me to believe I'm talking to some sort of Freakenstein? I don't think so. Did Mindbender send you? You're one of his latest projects, aren't you?"

"I'm not a _project._" The Freak snarled.

"They all say that," I replied. "They all think they're special, somewhere deep inside. But the truth is, you're a mutant. You're a freak." I frowned. "Not that I don't pity you, but I make it a point to never sympathize with anyone outside my own species. Although, I seem to have issues with mercy even for those of the same species," I glanced at Snake Eyes. "Am I right?"

Snake eyes stared at me accusingly. "_He's just a kid,"_ he signed. "_You don't have to go into the whole cold-hearted act."_

"He tried to kill me," I snapped at Snake. _Some friend, _I thought._ All he ever does is accuse me of being insensitive anyway. I don't know why I ask him anything!_

"I didn't try to kill you!" The Freak cried. "It was an accident!"

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Accident. A couple inches closer and that would have been…" I paused and glared at him. "Way more than just an '_accident_'."

"I didn't try to!" He yelled. "I just wanted you to go away!"

"Then why did you follow me?!" I snapped.

"Because I could. Because you couldn't hurt me," he replied, "Because I wanted to."

I sat up, wincing at the pain in my ribs. "Just get lost! Go away! Now!" I snapped.

He turned his head, glancing at the floor. "I can't," He murmured. "I don't have anywhere to go."

"I missed the part where this is my problem," I snarled. Hadn't I already said this before? When was he going to listen to me?! I had lost all patience when he'd tried to _murder_ me, and now all he was doing was grating on my last nerve. "Just get lost!" I snapped.

"Please?" He said, looking not at _me,_ but at _Snake__Eyes._ Like he knew he wouldn't be getting sympathy from me. Well, he had that much right.

"This is _my_ apartment, and if Snake wants to rent one of his own, you can hang out there. But so long as you're _here,_ it's going to be my word that makes the law and my word is that you're leaving…_now!_" I snarled.

The Freak's eyes narrowed. "Fine," He said shortly. "But I'll be back. And I'll _remember_ this. Forever." Without another word, he swung through the window and disappeared into the twilight-- hopefully gone for good. But there was one thing I did know for certain. When he came back, _I _would be ready also. And next time, the outcome would be different… very, very different.


	3. A Hunch

A/N: Well, I don't own Jell-O, Spider-Man or G.I. Joe. Too bad. Please R&R... It can't get better unless you tell me what's wrong!

**Chapter 3: A Hunch**

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_**-Philip Masterson- **_

Leaping from the roof, I landed easily on the ground twenty-five feet below. I winced as my ankle sent a twinge of protest scrabbling up my right leg, reminding me that part of me _was_ still human and I wasn't totally invincible.

Frowning, I hobbled out onto the sidewalk, forcing myself to walk with the least amount of limping I could- basically hurting my ankle more, but that way I looked a little less vulnerable. Yes, you heard me right, vulnerable. I may be a freakishly powerful inhuman freak, but I don't look it. I'm 5' 6" on a good day, with scraggly blonde hair and blue eyes hiding behind obnoxious glasses. I've always thought I looked awful, but my sisters say I'm not half bad looking, except for my diminutive stature.

Yeah, sisters. When I lived at home, before ending up on the run, I was a Freshman, fifteen years old with two sisters and a hard-working single mother. But honestly, High-school means nothing. I mean, I already have -er, _had_- several promising scholarships, including college offers from Schools like Harvard, Duke, and other pretty impressive names.

I've also raised over twelve thousand dollars in scholarships from science contests around the country. But the money isn't much use now- the Government's keeping a close eye on my savings account. I can't contact any old friends or family members- at least, not if I want to stay free. It isn't really the Government's fault though. They just think they know everything, when they don't know half of what I know.

That's how it is, and that's how it's going to stay. See, when I contracted this lovely Invectus virus, I was taken to the hospital. And, in that hospital we had concerned doctors trying to keep me alive, but they also had to make a big fuss about an new, virtually incurable disease. So of course, news spread like wildfire. I was unconscious for most of the 'interviews', fortunately. I have yet to figure out why seeing a person in a hospital bed and listening to doctors formulate theories would be earth-shattering journalism, but apparently that's what the TV networks thought.

Until the government cracked down on them. None of the shows were ever aired. See, the government had heard from one of the doctors that this strange virus had changed my muscles, given them super-strength. My bones too, in case you were wondering. Otherwise my enhanced muscles would crack my poor skeleton like a toothpick. So, the minute I woke up, guess who was there to greet me?

Problem was, I had _just woken up._ After having _just been infected_. So I had no idea what was going on, where I was or who they were. As fear flooded my mind, it stimulated that poor virus DNA that didn't know what to do with itself. In simple terms, I freaked. The doctors ended up sedating me and I spiraled into la-la land for a long while. When I woke up again, my loving mother, siblings and friends were there to greet me.

As you can guess, I was much more receptive to this welcoming party than the first. So when fancy-suits from the US Military showed up in my hospital room while I was trying to choke down grass-flavored jell-o (I think it was supposed to be cherry), I was not entirely pleased. Especially when I figured out _why_ they were there.

Once they started prying into how I'd gotten the virus, I refused to say a word . They wanted to know if I'd gotten out of bed, how I felt, what did the virus feel like, etc, etc, etc. But I could tell the answers they were really after was how the virus had effected me. They wanted to know if it was a viable option for enhancing strength in soldiers.

I couldn't help wondering if this was how Peter Parker felt- except, no one knew he had super powers. And he didn't get chased around by the United States Government. And _he_ didn't need his glasses anymore!

That's what's most unfair! Why couldn't _I_ lose _my_ glasses?! I mean, they're always sliding down and falling off at the most inconvenient moments. I'm always pushing them up, or shielding them from the rain, or… Er, sorry. Glasses are kind of my pet peeve. I mean, sure I can't read anything outside a five-foot radius without them, but I'd really like 20-20 vision. Or even 20-25. Even contacts would be nice.

Sorry. As I was saying, the US Government was trying to decide if Invectus was an option to enhance strength for their soldiers. Once I actually got back to a semi-normal life, I realized there were problems with this Virus that I hadn't anticipated…

Big problems.

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

I waited a few moments while Thomas leaned back, obviously satisfied that revenge would, in the end, be his. _"You know, he's still just a kid,"_ I signed, staring at Thomas accusingly.

"Would you leave it alone?! He practically killed me!" Thomas argued. He sat up suddenly, wincing slightly. "And how do you know he wasn't lying?!"

"_If he was, he's probably off in some warm bed, safe and sound. Somehow, I doubt that."_ I raised an eyebrow in Tommy's direction.

"Oh, shut up." He snapped.

"_You don't have to listen,"_ I gave him the evil eye.

"It's common courtesy," He replied, shooting daggers from his dark eyes.

"_Since when have you bothered with common courtesy?"_ I accused, tossing him a 'yeah right' look. _"You enter houses through _windows,_ and without knocking!"_

Thomas glared at me. "That's just when I feel like it."

"_My point is proven,_" I signed. _"Common courtesy would _never _allow one to enter an establishment through its window-- especially if one doesn't knock first." _

Sighing, Thomas leaned back, wincing as the air escaped his lungs too rapidly, paining his bruised ribs. "He's not going to come back for revenge, Snake Eyes. He's not like me or anything. Besides, only vengeful ninja really scare me. He's just some freak who wandered by and we'll never see again."

"_No,_" I shot back, _"He's just insane, and probably plotting revenge right now."_

"Oh, _now_ who's not being courteous?! You're calling him crazy!" Thomas waved a finger in my general direction. It resembled a worm, or a stick tied to a string. It was annoying me.

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

When Snake Eyes gave me the 'move that finger or I'm biting it off' look, I quickly re-sheathed the all-powerful-weapon of blame-shifting and glanced at him with curiosity. "Really though," I said, "Why do you say that he's nuts? I mean, you don't just say things."

"_Thanks for noticing,"_ Snake said, staring at me through half-closed eyes.

I couldn't tell if he was frustrated or just tired. "Are you going to answer?" I demanded.

"_Call it a hunch,"_ Snake Eyes signed, shrugging.

"A hunch," I said, somewhat disbelieving. "A hunch?! You're just going to walk around calling people crazy because of a _hunch?!_"

Snake nodded. _"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it."_

I rolled my eyes. "Great. The master of ninja hunches, Snake Eyes. He calls people crazy if they look at him wrong…" Then I realized something. "He sounded perfectly lucid!" I turned on Snake with a glare, daring him to answer me.

"_Just because you're insane doesn't mean you always look it,"_ Snake pointed out.

"True," I admitted. "So you're going to just stick with your theory that he's a nut?"

Snake Eyes nodded, then shook his head. _"More like crazy in the sense of someone who's stronger than most people and knows it all-too-well."_

I sighed. "So long as he never comes back, I don't care what he is."

Snake shrugged and grabbed the remote, flicking on the TV. I stared at the moving pictures on the screen, though my mind didn't register what was happening there. I glanced at Snake and frowned. Why did I get the feeling that he was right? I shook my head, sighing. Somehow he always ends up right… well, not always, but more often than me, anyway. It gets frustrating after awhile.

Glancing at him, I realized he wasn't watching TV either- he was carefully examining one of his trench knives. Frowning, I turned back to the TV, my concentration still more focused on my silent counterpart. I wondered what he was thinking…


	4. Ambush!

A/N: Well. I like this Chapter. The plot thickens! (then again, so does gravy, and it's rather bland...) Cobra makes an appearance! I still don't own G.I. Joe or spider man! So, what happens next? Only time will tell... (And ol' father time delights in keeping his trap shut...)

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**Chapter 4: Ambush!!**

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_**-Philip Masterson-**_

I stood in front of the internet café, frowning. If I'd had a spider sense, it would have been tingling. But since I don't have _that either,_ I just had this nagging feeling something wasn't quite right. I glanced around, and once again seeing nothing suspicious, pulled open the door. A small chime jingled cheerfully- much _too_ cheerfully, if you ask me- as I limped up to the counter. I glanced halfheartedly at the menu glowing above the clerk's head.

After deciding what to order, I cleared my throat. When that didn't work, I sighed and poked the clerk. "Excuse me," I said, "can I order now?"

"Who's stopping you?" the clerk crabbed, dropping his video-game guide book and standing up straight.

"No one," I said. "Do you have any herb teas?"

The clerk stared at me with detached interest. "No."

"All you have on your menu is tea or coffee," I complained, "and you don't have herb teas?"

"What constitutes an herb tea?" the clerk asked after a moment.

I sighed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "Try looking for little hints like…caffeine-free, not green or black, for starters." I shook my head, seeing the blank look on the guy's face. "On second thought…Maybe you could try reading the labels."

I heard the door open behind me. I glanced back, seeing a woman with long, dark hair step in. Turning back to the clerk, who was still staring at me, I sighed. "Never mind. Just get me some decaf Earl Gray."

"Coming right up," the clerk said, turning around and filling a Styrofoam cup with hot water. Note to self: don't try and find anything on this café's late-evening /early-morning menu. Tea, coffee or bottled water is not always satisfying.

I paid, accepted my cup of tea -if you could call it that- and took it to one of the computers, sitting down. I brought up the search bar and frowned, wondering why I was doing this. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and typed in the words 'Cobra', 'Ninja' and 'Arashikage'. I scrolled down the list of results until I found the website I'd visited mere hours earlier. It really didn't take long to find things when you already knew what you were looking for. After all, it'd taken me much longer to find the site this afternoon. I stared at the page, eyes unfocused. I wasn't reading the page -I'd seen it before anyway- no, I was thinking.

I glanced sideways as the woman I'd seen walk in sit down at the computer next to mine. I frowned, glanced at her again and then back to the page. I scrolled up and gasped. Smothering that response, I quickly typed in my email account, ignoring the messages. Instead, I sneaked another look at the woman at the computer next to me. Definitely the same person.

Standing quickly, I strode from the shop. I glanced both ways, on total alert. The same bum I'd seen before was in the same spot… Was it my imagination, or was he watching me? I turned and walked quickly in the opposite direction, trying to calm myself. _Breathe,_ I told myself, _Breathe. Slowly._ I glanced behind myself and winced. _Was that person walking this way before?_ I wondered.

Stopping, I glanced around. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. I bit my lip, inwardly berating myself for being so stupid. _Never go to the same place twice!_ I thought angrily. _You know better than that!_ Nervously glancing around, I took a deep breath and continued walking, ignoring the shooting pains from my ankle that followed every step. I knew I was limping. I was vulnerable.

Vulnerable.

I glanced back again and stifled a cry. No! Two? When had she appeared?! I turned back around and froze. Standing no more than six yards away was a big man. His metallic mask reflected the orange glow of the streetlights. I clenched my teeth, willing myself to calm down. Maybe they were on an evening stroll, Maybe they were just meeting about something else and I'd accidentally…_ Yeah right,_ I thought, _and maybe I'm six feet tall._

I spun around, glancing first at the two approaching from behind, and then glanced back to the big man, slowly advancing. Not good. Not good at all.

"Hello Philip," the big man rumbled. "We've been expecting you."

"Yeah," I said, "been a nice reunion, but I really need to be going-"

"I don't think so," The woman chuckled from behind me.

I backed up, not stopping until I felt the cool concrete wall of a building brush the back of my shirt. "Stay back," I warned.

In response, the big one pulled out a gun. "Or what?" He demanded.

I barked a laugh. "I've faced down bigger guns than that. Learn a new trick."

The woman also pulled out a gun, as did her silent companion.

I blanched. "Nice trick." Heart pounding, I quickly assessed my options. The woman would probably be the easiest to take, so they probably expected me to take her. So, if I lunged in her direction and whacked silent goon, big goon and lady goon wouldn't be expecting that.

In an instant I lashed out, bringing my hand down on the quiet one's arm. Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on body armor. Snarling in frustration, I head-butted the woman, simultaneously kicking out with my right leg, ignoring the angry sparks of pain my ankle felt obligated to send crawling up my nerves. I grabbed the big one by the lapels of his suit and tossed him on the quiet one. I brought my elbow down on his abdomen, avoiding his head for obvious reasons.

Spinning around, I kicked aside the silent one's gun, cocked the lady's and snatched iron-head's up off the ground. "If you don't mind," I said, "I'll be leaving."

"That's what you think," Came the hiss from behind me, just as something hard slammed into the base of my skull, sending constellations spiraling around behind my unfocused eyes…

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

I heard my suit beeping. Just when I'd finally fallen asleep, my suit started beeping. If it was Heavy Duty trying to figure out my real name again he would suffer the wrath of the sleep-deprived Arashikage before daybreak.

Frowning, I sat up, pulled on my infamous ninja mask and snapped the communicator open. Duke's face stared back at me. He looked as frustrated as I felt. "Sorry, Snake Eyes," He said, "I didn't like being woken up any more than you did. Especially when I learned that shore leave's been cut off early."

He must have noticed my utter disgust when hearing this tidbit of information, because he sighed. "I know, I know. Apparently General Hawk thinks it's not enough for us to stop Cobra-- they aren't especially active right now anyway-- so we've been given a new assignment."

I tried to look curious.

Duke sighed irritably. "Apparently some terrorist is running around making the US Military look like a group of buffoons, so we have to apprehend this guy and…well, apprehend him. That's all I know. Oh yes, and we have a picture of him," He said. "Apparently he's sent the entire military on quite the runaround. His name's… uh, I have it here somewhere…" Duke ducked down to dig through a few papers. His blond hair bobbed in the viewscreen until he sat up again. "Got it. Okay, his name is Philip Masterson. And here's his picture." Duke held a fuzzy picture to the camera.

It was a good thing I couldn't talk, because I probably would have done something stupid, like said-- "No way!"-- which would, of course, have made Duke suspicious, and _then_ how was I supposed to explain that this Philip Masterson was the very same 'Freak' who had followed us? We'd practically _had_ him in custody… and now who knew where he was?!

"Anyway, we'll need you here by tomorrow," Duke said. "Sorry I can't talk longer, but I still have to contact Heavy Duty, Tunnel Rat and…" Duke trailed off, sighing. "And too many other people. I don't get paid nearly enough for doing this." And with that, he ended the call.

Brilliant. Thomas and I had _nearly_ apprehended a terrorist and then let him go. _Made_ him go.

Just what I needed on my résumé.


	5. The Freak Found

Chapter 5: The Freak…Found

_**-Storm Shadow- **_

_I hate this. I hate Snake Eyes. I hate The Freak. I hate everything._ The thoughts rang through my head as I trudged halfheartedly down the sidewalk, wishing I could kill someone… like Snake Eyes, for example. "You know, I really hate you," I snapped after a moment.

"_You'll feel better when you get some sleep," _Snake Eyes replied.

I hate it when he's like that. So calm… practical…annoying…Snake Eyes-y… I turned and marched down an alley, glanced behind a few dumpsters and stomped back out. "He's not back there," I snapped, racing ahead and searching the next alley.

I ignored Snake and his shaking head. What did he know anyway?! Asking _store clerks_ to help us find someone. I glared at my goth-looking counterpart as he walked into a tiny internet café. In a moment, he stepped back out and gestured for me to come. Still glaring, I stalked over. "What?!" I demanded.

"_He was in there last night, after leaving your place,"_ Snake told me. _"Clerk says some lady followed him out, and get this-- her description matches that of Baroness'!"_

I blinked a few times. "The only reason we're even going after The Freak is because Cobra _isn't _on the move."

"_But what if National Security isn't the only organization who's interested in him?"_ Snake Eyes insisted. _"I mean, you have to admit, he's got some mutant powers. Cobra's probably had their eyes on him for months."_

I frowned, thinking about that. "Maybe… but probably not," I said. "Let's keep checking the alleys up the street," I pointed ahead. "I mean, we've got a loooooong way to go."

"_What if Cobra's got him?!"_ Snake demanded. _"What then?!"_

"Then we get him back, or hope they execute him," I snapped. "Come on, march!"

Snake shook his head, following me down the street.

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

I hoped he would be satisfied after two hours of poking his head into dumpsters, but I wasn't especially confident. Thomas can be a stubborn butthead of a man when he wants to. And unfortunately, right now he wanted to. I followed him into every single alley for three blocks, and finally waited outside these small side streets before Thomas would return to the sidewalk and we moved on past the many storefronts.

We'd reached alley six thousand two hundred forty-seven (not really, but it felt like it) when Thomas did something different from his walk in, stick head in dumpster, walk out routine.

"Snake!" Thomas called hoarsely, "Get in here!"

Absently, I wondered if he'd found a million dollars shoved in a duffel bag. Shrugging, I walked into the alley, turned the corner past the one dumpster sitting against the wall and froze. _"What…?"_ I stared in amazement. It was the kid!

"He doesn't look so hot, does he?" Thomas said slowly.

I shook my head. _"Definitely not," _I agreed.

Thomas frowned. "Let's get him back to my apartment… and call Duke."

I nodded. _"Good idea."_

_**-Duke-**_

I'd just spent an entire hour banging my head against the wall. I'd watched- no, breathed down Hi-Tech's _neck,_ and still nothing showed up on this infamous _Philip Masterson._

Well, besides some random kid who kept winning Science awards and scholarships. But no terrorists.

I was beginning to think this was General Hawk's idea of a joke when suddenly Hi-Tech jumped up, nearly knocking his chair over and instead jamming it into the sensitive spot between my legs.

"Ow, what the-- Hi-Tech, watch where you shove that thing!" I snapped, shoving it forward again, causing my not-so-beloved tech's knees to buckle, depositing him in the swivel-chair. "Duke, this is it!" He cried, waving his arms.

I leaned back and forth, trying to see past Hi-Tech's waving arms. "Hi-Tech…Hi…" I sighed. "PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!!" I yelled. He not only put his arms down, but slouched in the chair until he appeared to only be six inches tall. "Thank you," I said, leaning forward and reading the page Hi-Tech had brought up.

"Blah-blah-blah scholarships…Blah-blah-blah…babble…more nonsense…" I glanced down. "Hi-Tech, what does this have to-"

"The bottom!" My technological mastermind said, scrolling to the bottom of the screen. "I changed the search parameters, and found this last bit at the bottom of this article."

I glanced what was written and read. " _'Many of these awards and Scholarships were regretted when Philip Masterson apparently 'went bad', killing three officers of the law and then fleeing the scene. However, it is suspected that the anonymous phone call alerting the 911 operator of this calamity was the very same person… Philip Masterson'_." I frowned. " '_Philip continued to remain out of the public eye, and has since caused no trouble…_'" My scowl deepened. "Hi-Tech, Hawk said his sources told us he had a secret vital to national security. Why isn't that mentioned here?"

"Probably for the reason you just said… it's vital to national security," Hi-Tech said. "You wouldn't just find information like that all over the internet. But isn't that interesting… Philip Masterson killed three police officers. Another report I read says the officers all had guns drawn, and Philip himself carried no firearms or other weapons."

I frowned. "So, how did this kid kill them?"

Hi-Tech laughed, sounding slightly unnerved. "Well, um…according to the report…"

I sighed. "Out with it."

"Apparently he…threw one of their own patrol cars on them." Hi-Tech said.

As the realization struck me, I began to feel lightheaded. _What kind of freak is this guy anyway?_

A/N: I'm apologizing now for the short chapter, but I kind of wanted to end on this note, and the next scene is a flashback and would be hard to end with... so yeah. Um... REVIEW!! Asterisk, use your divine influence to get somebody to read besides you, becuz I'm feeling sad that no one has read my brilliant fight scene yet... it took me a long time to get it right, because I'm not good at dramatic tension, as I'm sure you remember.

Anywho, if someone else is reading... REVIEW!! ...please.


	6. To the Hospital we Go!

**Chapter 6: To the Hospital we go!**

_**-Philip Masterson-**_

_Lights. Beeping. Voices. Everything's blurry… What…? Slowly, my eyes opened. Before me sat another one. Another one. He was trying to…to… something. Can't remember, so dizzy… I slumped sideways, unable to hold myself up. Leaning forward quickly, the Gray-haired man helped me sit up again. Then the questions started. Again._

"_What's your name?" He asked. _

"This one's just to see if you're lucid," _a voice in my head told me. _"Let's freak him out a little." _I felt my mouth open. "My name is Invectus," My mouth said. _

_The man frowned. "No," He said, "Tell me your name, your given name."_

"_My name is Invectus," My mouth repeated. My head turned to look at him. I wasn't moving it. What…? "This name was given to me by Philip Masterson. It stands for INfecting Viral Entity Commencing Threatening Unique Symbiosis." I felt myself chuckle. But it wasn't me. Who… what?_

_The man stood. "That's enough, Philip. I know you're upset. I just want to know why."_

_Just like that, I felt the strange presence crawl backwards, and I could be me again. _"Go ahead, tell him. Tell him why." _The voice whispered, slowly seeping back into the far corner of my mind…_

* * *

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

"You better have a sedative with you," I told Snake, glaring at him as he pulled up in the car I'd sent him back to the apartment for. "I don't want The Freak waking up in that thing and murdering me."

"_This _thing_ is a car, and everyone knows what a car is. Besides that, we're taking him to a hospital."_

I couldn't help staring. Had my counterpart leaked his brains from here to the apartment and back?! "What do you mean, _hospital?!_ He's supposed to be going to the Sea Titan, and if you don't have a sedative… he's going to kill us!"

Snake shook his head. "_It's my turn for an ingenious story. See, we felt bad about making him leave-"_

"_You_ felt bad about making him leave," I snapped.

Ignoring me, Snake continued. "_So we decided to try and find him."_

"_You_ made me try and find him," I added.

"_And when we did find him--"_

"_I_ found him. _You_ were the lazy butt," I said.

"_We saw he was in a bad way, so we decided to take him to a hospital."_

"_You_ decided to take him to a hospital. _I_ would just let him die, if it were up to me," I replied.

"Nice to know I'm loved," the ground said.

No, wait… I spun around. "What the--"

Philip grinned weakly in my direction. "Hey," He said. "You don't have to go to that much trouble. Nothing's broken, and I can't have a blood transfusion anyway."

I glared at The Freak for a moment. "Why not?" I finally asked, hating myself for even wondering.

"I've got blood type V, for Virus, remember?" He said. "It's not like anyone else has this."

I frowned. "So it isn't contagious?"

"It is," The Freak replied, "But only for a couple of hours, then it once again becomes an inert virus."

"Methinks I'm confused. How does it become un-inert, and _how_ did you manage to be the lucky one and catch it in it's small time period when it's _not_ inert?!"

"Excellent questions…" The Freak's face contorted in pain for a moment. "Ow. Um, a chemical formula stimulates the virus. It happened to be stimulated in my room when I decided to sleep in there."

I frowned. "Oh."

The Freak smiled wryly. "Yup. I have excellent timing, don'cha know…"

"Are we still taking him to a hospital?" I asked Snake.

Snake nodded. _"Those cuts need tended to, and your first aid kit leaves much to be desired."_

"So I like to pretend I can't get hurt during vacations!" I snapped. "I do carry a first aid kit… I just didn't bring it with me."

Snake shook his head in disgust, probably halfheartedly trying to hide a smile as well… sometimes I really hate him.

The Freak sighed. "Well, seems as though I don't have much of a choice."

"No," I said, "You don't. Now, this might hurt…" I warned, lifting him up and laying him down on the back seat. Quickly I buckled each of the three over his chest, abdomen and knees, respectively. "That should hold you in if we crash," I said.

"Is his driving that bad?" The Freak asked.

"No, but his luck is," I said. "Maybe I should tell you about it sometime."

The Freak nodded, eyes half closed. With a slight moan, his eyes fluttered shut.

"He's out," I said, standing up and closing the door. I glanced in and frowned. "Out, and _short_," I added, climbing into the passenger seat. "And remember, drive slowly."

Snake gave me the '_no duh'_ look.

**_-Duke-_**

I stared at the email in shock. What could that mean? Sometimes I swear these ninja are hiding things from me… Sighing, I closed down the laptop and picked up my communicator, hailing Scarlett, my Second-in-command. The communicator channel opened, and Scarlett stared back at me.

"_Yeah?"_ she asked, her voice somewhat choppy. Hi-Tech still hadn't fixed my comm. yet… I swear one of these days I'm going to kill Tunnel Rat, especially if he persists in accidentally dropping my things into various water containers with liquid still in them…

"All right, you know that location search you were doing about that Terrorist kid?" I asked.

She nodded in reply.

"Forget it. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow already have him. They're taking him to a hospital, and meeting us there."

"_Which one?"_

"This channel isn't especially secure… I've got the coordinates punched into your communicator. We'll be there within the hour, fortunately."

"_Really? I was under the impression Snake and Storm would head off to the East coast, to make an excuse of arriving later than most of us when shore leave's up. But where, exactly, are we…"_

"Later," I said, "I need to talk to Hi-Tech now about this stupid communicator."

Scarlett nodded. _"I understand," _She smiled. _"Well, looks like this mission will be going a whole lot faster than expected."_

I nodded. "Yeah. Then maybe we can get back to our shore leave. Out." I flicked off the communicator and stood, glancing around the room, Hi-Tech had been occupying only moments ago. Where was that annoying little techie, anyway?

* * *

A/N: Again, sorry for last chappie's shortness... um yeah. I can't think of anything to put here. enjoy the story. REVIEW!!


	7. Runaway, but not for Long

**Chapter 7: Runaway, but not for long**

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

After checking the kid into the hospital, I found a computer with internet connection and checked my private email. Sure enough, I had a reply from Duke. The thing simply said, 'Will be there ASAP'.

I logged off and stood up, walking across the room to where Thomas was pacing.

"I really hope he doesn't wake up," He said. "I really, really, _really_ hope he doesn't wake up."

I blinked several times. "_Why?"_

Thomas glared at me. "Um, hello, superhuman freak kid doesn't like being captured. If he finds out we're the ones actually bringing him in, he'll freak!"

I shrugged. _"So?"_

Thomas growled in exasperation. "So, I don't want to be on the wrong end of his attacks again."

I shrugged again and turned to leave.

"What's your problem?" Thomas demanded. "Aren't you the least bit curious as to why on earth this freak is wanted by the US government? Don't you want to know what he did?"

I raised an eyebrow. _"Why?"_ I asked. _"He's a terrorist, which means he did something very wrong to the wrong people. In my opinion, that's all anyone needs to know."_

"but-but-but-" Thomas frowned. "Sheesh. I sound like a dying motor," He muttered. "But Snake!" He exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder as I tried to make a timely exit-- the bottled water in the vending machine down the hall was calling me-- "How do we know it isn't… I don't know, a mistake? He just doesn't seem like the type of person to be a terrorist. It's… I don't know, he just doesn't seem to have the maniacal and or sadistic attitude I'm used to seeing in that type of person. Do you get what I'm saying?"

I shrugged. _"I guess, but this isn't our call. Besides, Duke is on the way."_

Just then a shriek rang through the hallway, an unearthly scream of malice and anguish combined. It made shivers crawl down my spine like tiny, icy spiders.

"What was that?" Thomas gasped as a herd of doctors dashed past us. (Seriously, what do you call them when they bunch up like that?) "Hey, what was that?!" He shouted as the group of white-coated physicians continued down the hallway and piled into…

Oh no.

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

"They went into the freak's room. Did you see that? They went into the freak's room!" I snapped at Snake, who seemed to be in a state of shock. Trying to reassure myself, I continued talking. "That doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong, I mean, he's probably not dying or…"

More screams, not the same one. Other people were screaming. The doctors?

Then the first scream again. It sounded like the poor kid was in horrible, gut-wrenching pain. I'd never heard anything so terrible-sounding before in my life. In my _life!_

I had to see what was wrong. Turning, I started down the hall when Snake grabbed me. _"What are you doing?!"_ He demanded. _"You can't go in there-- especially if he's not in his right mind-- he might kill you!"_

"What do you mean, 'not in his right mind'?!" I demanded.

"_Did you, or did you not hear that scream?! With his intense amount of strength and the agony he's in, he's bound to hurt someone, and I don't intend for it to be you."_ Snake said, glaring at me.

I winced as another piercing shriek echoed down the halls. People were hurriedly leaving, crowding their way out of the hospital ward.

"But I can take it better than a whimpy doctor," I pointed out stubbornly. "Besides, I don't want him to get away!"

"_Your ribs are already hurt,"_ Snake insisted. _"We don't need any more injuries."_

"So what do you suggest… are _you_ going in?!" I snapped.

"_Why not?"_ Snake shrugged.

"If you're going, I'm going," I replied, folding my arms. "You can't stop me."

Sighing, Snake Eyes nodded reluctantly and we both dashed down the corridor. When we reached the Freak's room, we immediately realized two things. First, the heart monitor was practically flying. And secondly, so was most of the furniture.

I pulled open the door and ducked back in time to dodge a flying chair.

"_**Stay away from me!"**_the Freak snarled, his voice sounding terrifyingly unlike the voice I'd heard under an hour ago.

I heard a crash, and then a groaning, grinding, shearing sound of metal being bent and ripped to shreds.

"Do you realize how much equipment he's destroying?!" I demanded, turning to Snake Eyes. He seemed as eager to stall our entering the room as I.

"_Probably a lot. Good thing the compensation's not coming out of our pockets. What with the stuff going on in there, I wouldn't be surprised if Sigma 6 had to undergo a huge amount of budget cuts."_

I nodded in agreement. "Do you think we should go in?"

"_No. But you said you wanted to,"_ Snake replied.

"I only said that because I was curious. I don't, not really," I said, sort of edging away from the door. Frowning, I froze, realizing something was missing. "Wait," I said, grabbing Snake's shoulder, "Why isn't there any noise going on anymore?"

Snake looked as confused as I felt. Carefully he peeked in the room and jumped as though he'd stuck his finger into an electrical outlet.

"What is it?!" I demanded, looking in. I stared in awe at the room. What on earth had the screeching metal sounds been? The equipment was fine, except… wait… I blinked several times, trying to get my brain to understand what I was seeing. "Wasn't that window frame shaped differently?" I finally managed, turning to Snake Eyes. "And wasn't it on the… eh, window?"

Snake nodded. _"He's gone…"_ He said. We carefully entered the room and glanced around. That's when we saw them. Three doctors with part of the metal window frame wrapped around their torsos, effectively rendering them immobile.

Snake and I both tugged on either side of the metal until our arms nearly fell off. We finally decided the doctors needed to find one of their jaws of death or whatever, and headed back to the lobby. The Freak was gone… without a trace.

* * *

When we finally ended up downstairs however, Duke had some good news. "We got him," He said. "He's in the ROCC."

"Er, what exactly did you use to secure him?" I finally asked. "He tore apart a window to get away."

"Don't worry," Duke grinned, "He's not getting out anytime soon. Sedation is pretty tough to fight your way out of."

"Poor guy, he'll wake up with a headache," I said, rolling my eyes. Sheesh. After all the trouble he'd caused, I hoped he woke up with a killer _migraine!_

"Don't sympathize with him," Duke said. "He may look cute and innocent, but he's a killer."

I blinked several times. "We're talking about what now?" I said, my curiosity piqued.

"_Cute and innocent? Sure, he's short and blonde with baby blues, but cute?"_ Snake Eyes shook his head.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," I teased.

"This isn't exactly the point I'm trying to make, guys," Duke said as Scarlett walked in.

"Hey Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow. He's secured… how'd he get out of protective custody?"

"Apparently the doctors didn't take my warning to sedate him seriously," I said. "Who would have thought a threat of brain damage would be so important?"

"Brain damage?" Scarlett said, sounding worried.

I laughed. "That was a joke, actually. When we got him here he was unconscious. The doctors said he'd probably stay like that for at least two more hours but… well, obviously they were wrong."

"You knocked the poor kid out?" Scarlett said.

"Not us," I said. "We found him like that."

Scarlett raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" She said, staring at me with disbelief.

"Yeah, really. We just saw him in this alley when we were driving on our way out of town."

"Out of town?" Duke asked, frowning.

"Out of town. To meet up with you, to finish shore leave," I snapped, exasperated. "But then we saw him, and thought it was kind of suspicious to see a blonde guy who sort of matched your description all banged up and bruised next to a dumpster, so we checked it out."

"Next to a dumpster?!" Tunnel Rat piped up, popping into the conversation for no conceivable reason as he and Heavy Duty walked over.

"Next. To. A. Dumpster," I said slowly, resisting the urge to tear off a certain someone's head. "Apparently someone else found him first. I just wonder who it was…" I mused.

"Maybe he just tried to steal their coffee," Tunnel Rat suggested, "And then they got mad and beat him up. Some people are _mean_ when it comes to savin' their coffee."

"Just because I don't let you taste my beverages before I drink them doesn't mean I'm possessive, Tunnel Rat," I snapped.

"Yeah, whateva'," Tunnel Rat replied, waving a dismissive hand in my direction. "What's up with this guy anyway? I mean, ain't we supposed to be trackin' down Cobra?"

"Not when they aren't active," Duke said. "We don't have widespread destruction or even a money trail to follow. So until they start on the move again… we're kind of stuck chasing down other terrorists."

"Terrorist? That kid's smaller than my left arm!" Heavy Duty exclaimed. "What did he do, hack into the pentagon or something?!"

"He killed officers of the law and is withholding secrets vital to national security." Duke said. Just then his communicator flicked on.

"_Duke, we've got trouble!" _Hi-Tech said.

"What's wrong?" Duke asked.

"_He's already waking up. That sedative should have kept him down until we reached the Sea Titan. I can't give him any more for fear he's going to never wake up again, but…"_ Hi-Tech looked worried. With a glance backwards, he grimaced. _"But I don't know what he can handle. How the heck am I supposed to take care of this guy myself?! I'm just a computer technician, and he throws automobiles!!"_

"What was that?!" Heavy Duty yelled. "Did he say something about that toothpick throwing cars?! I sure hope you meant 'Hot Wheels', Hi-Tech!"

Hi-Tech's eyes narrowed. _"If I'd _**meant**_ Hot Wheels, I would have _**said**_ Hot Wheels. He throws _**cars**._"_

"So what, this kid is strong or something?" Heavy Duty said.

"He tore a window out of the hospital room, took the middle metal bar and wound it around three doctors like it was a telephone cord. Snake and I couldn't budge it," I said.

Heavy Duty's eyes widened. "Oh," he said, looking a little less confident. "And here I am trying to keep up with Destro!" He muttered.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "It's obvious he's not human, not at the rate his body deals with sedatives and how strong he is." I glanced at Duke. "About the secrets vital to national security… what kind of secrets were they, exactly?"

Duke shrugged. "Hawk didn't tell me. The general public isn't supposed to even know he has any secrets --this is a top secret mission-- so _no_ screw-ups."

"Easy for you to say," Heavy Duty muttered. "You probably won't be the one wrestling the mini-monster into submission."

A/N: Now things are finally starting to get interesting. Aren't we glad? Well, I am. Thanks for the awesome reviews, Asterisk! (hint, hint...)


	8. The not nurse

**Chapter 8: The Not-Nurse**

_**-Philip Masterson-**_

When I woke up, it felt like trying to stay awake after taking Benadryl. My eyes simply wouldn't stay open, and my mind was sluggishly pulling itself together. I heard someone moving around, and felt restraining straps over my chest, abdomen, thighs and shins. It would be easy to break them, but I didn't want to go breaking things if I couldn't even keep my eyes open.

Plus, I kind of had a headache. "Hey, anyone got water?" I mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Huh? What?! Oh!" Whoever had answered knocked some papers and equipment onto the floor. "Oh, drat!" the person scrabbled to stand up, then it sounded like they tripped over their own chair, fell and thunked some part of their body on the floor. "Ow! My head!"

Thunked their _head_ on the floor. Or counter. "Oh, sorry. I can wait," I said, wondering what this buffoon was doing in a hospital. Maybe he was a nurse.

"No, no, I'm fine," the buffoon replied, attempting something that sounded like scrambling to his feet and quickly heading across the floor. "I can't unstrap you," he said apologetically from somewhere above my head, "But we do have straws to stick in the cup, if that's all right with you. You don't mind straws, do you?"

"That's fine," I said, frowning. Why was he being so particular about the restraining straps? I mean, if I can tear out windows, I can break restraining straps. Some nurses, sheesh. "When do I get out of here?" I asked, hearing the nurse return.

"Um, I'm not sure," the nurse said. "Here's your water-- oops!" I felt wetness spread over my torso. "Sorry about that, I'm kind of a klutz," the incompetent nurse apologized.

_A klutz, huh? I never would have guessed… _"I'm fine," I said. "Water has never really hurt me."

"I certainly hope not, I mean, seeing as most of your body's made of the stuff," the nurse said, poking my nose with the straw. "Oh, sorry."

"That's fine," I said, gritting my teeth. _If that idiot would just let me sit up…_

After finally getting my drink of water, the nurse sat back down, presumably to fill out paperwork.

"I'm hungry," I commented.

"Well, the next scheduled meal's not for at least two more hours, and I'm not supposed to leave you unattended," My nurse said uncomfortably.

"Can't you make an exception?" I asked, feeling my stomach rumble. Ugh.

"Um… well…" the nurse shifted on his squeaky chair. The grating squeak hurt my ears. "I… no, I really can't."

"Why not?"

"Um, because it's against regulation," He said.

"Where am I?" I demanded. "What kind of hospital is this?" _Against regulation, my butt!_

"Do you want transferred?" the nurse asked. What kind of question was that?!

"No, I want _food,_" I snapped. "Don't you have _anything?_ Some peanuts, a Hershey bar?"

"Um, I don't really like peanuts, and I'm on a diet. Sugar makes me hyperactive."

"Can't you just, like, press the nurse button or something? Call some other nurse to find something."

"I'm not really the nurse, actually. I just got dragged into this," my apparently _not-_nurse said.

"Well, that explains a lot," I muttered. "Can't you just skip out the door and down the hall to get some food?"

"If I could '_skip'_ out the door and down the hall to get food, I would have eaten a long time ago. But I'm locked in."

"Why?"

"Prank," He replied. "the guys thought it'd be funny if they told me my brother was in the hospital, then locked me in some random room. One of the guys' moms works here, and she promised to play along."

"Did she know what room they were going to pick?" I asked.

"Um… I don't know, I was the prankee, not the prankster."

"I'm not sure 'prankee' is a word," I snorted, barely managing to force one eye open. The light made it wink closed again, and afterimages burned angry holes in my retina.

"Yeah, 'prankee' does sound kind of funny. I'm not really sure it's a word either, actually."

_What a genius. His utter knowledge is completely overwhelming._ I thought sarcastically. Frowning, I tried to open my other eye."Why don't you just jump out the window, anyway?" I asked after a moment.

"What window? They don't have a window here," the not-nurse-klutzy-buffoon said.

"Oh," I said, thinking. _They must have moved me to a room where I couldn't pull out windows. _"Anyway, what was that whole blather about 'regulations' if you just got locked in here and didn't know a thing?"

"Oh, I've always kind of wanted to be a nurse, or a doctor, but I'm too much of a spaz for the job. Can you imagine me as a _brain_ surgeon? With skills like mine, I'd kill dead people!"

"That's kind of impossible," I pointed out.

"I know, but I'd figure out a way," he sighed. "I really hope someone shows up soon."

"You know, if you pressed the nurse button, a nurse would come, and then you wouldn't be stuck here," I said.

"I think it's broken," He said, poking some things above my head. "Whoops!" He exclaimed as some equipment clattered on my chest and face.

"I'm really hoping that wasn't surgical equipment, specifically needles or scalpels," I sighed.

"I think it was just tubes. I should probably pick them up…" something thunked on my bed. "Ouch!"

"Watch your head," I said sarcastically.

"I will," he assured me. "Especially from now on."

Just then a door opened. "He awake yet?" Someone asked, poking their head in.

"Yeah, nice prank!" Not-nurse said, somewhat forcefully, nervously.

"Prank?" The other voice asked, scuffling across the floor.

"I wouldn't suppose you have food?" I said, trying to pry open my right eye. I barely managed to open it a crack. Dimly I could make out two shapes and bright lights that tore at my eyes like raging dogs.

"Food? No, sorry. I could get some, though," the second voice said.

"That would be nice," I said.

"What happened in here anyway? What's with all the papers and equipment all over the floor. Hi-Tech?"

Not-nurse squeaked nervously. That's right, _squeaked_. "Eh, you don't have to call me by my nickname. I mean, sure you can call me that at school, but here…"

"School?! What planet are you from, and where have you been these last years?!" whoever it was demanded.

I was well past _slightly_ suspicious by now, and bordering on angry. "What's going on?" I demanded irritably. "I'm hungry, sore and cranky. Someone tell me where I am!"

"Well, you're at a hospital," the second voice said. "And this chart says your name is Philip Masterson, and crankiness isn't supposed to be one of your symptoms. At least, it isn't listed on the drugs here. Should I jot it down?"

"No, I'd really appreciate it if you just brought me some food," I snarled, heart rate increasing. _Mindless idiots… I should tear their arms off._

"But how are you going to eat it if you're strapped down?" Voice #2 asked.

"These threads?" I barked a laugh, sitting up. The bands over my chest and abdomen fought for a moment, then snapped. My eyes flickered open, and my first glance around told me three things.

1: This was no hospital room.

2: My not-nurse was no high-school, or even _college_ kid

3: I had absolutely no idea where I was.

The room looked like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was cramped, lacking windows and most medical equipment, but it did have a few computer terminals. Another strange thing I noticed was that there seemed to be a sense of motion. I hadn't realized this motion existed while I was lying flat on my back. Probably the "Benadryl Effect," as I like to put it. I glanced around suspiciously. "Who are you?!" I demanded.

"We're friends," 'Hi-Tech' assured me.

Right. I've never heard that one before. "What does that mean? You're going to help me?" I snapped. "Let me guess, I'm just a poor, misguided teen. You're going to take me back to your precious government and let them re-educate me. Here's a newsflash," I snapped, leaning forward. "I'm _not_ a terrorist."

Hi-Tech blinked, obviously unimpressed. "Yeah, no, I've actually never heard that story before," He snorted, his sarcasm surprisingly biting.

"It's the truth," I said. "And just to be nice, I won't tear the place apart to get away."

"That's good-"

"Because I can outsmart you," I finished. "I can escape whenever and however I want, and you can't stop me. So I'll come and go as I wish, and right now some real food sounds pretty good. So I'll stick around, maybe a day or two. Get to know the gang. Then, next thing you know, I'll be gone."

Hi-Tech raised an eyebrow. "You willing to bet on that?"

"Totally," I sneered.

"You're on," the techie said. "loser ends up in trouble with the US Government."

"I'm in trouble anyway," I said. "Maybe I'll lift some cash on my way out."

"Sure. I'll leave fifty bucks on my desk-- you get to figure out which one, and in which lab." He smirked.

"Shake on it," I said, extending a hand.

"Sure," Hi-Tech agreed, gripping my hand.

The deal was made, and I was _not_ going to lose. Not when so much was at stake…

* * *

A/N: I have no idea why this took so long to write, but it did. I'm currently battling a bout of writer's block, so... I don't know what to say, or when the next chapter will appear, but stick with me, please!  
Wow... White-Eyebrow, you are the lucky second reviewer! If I had a prize, I'd give it to you, and then I'd find one for asterisk78 as well... The support is greatly appreciated! Yay!!


	9. An Unexpected Escape

**Chapter 9: An Unexpected Escape**

_**-Philip Masterson-**_

"So, Hi-Tech, how did you manage to convince this kid to come peacefully?" the blond leader with a buzz gelled stiff enough to pop a balloon asked, talking as though I wasn't there. Quite possibly the thing I hate most in life. People who act like you don't exist. It bugs me. A lot. Gritting my teeth, I tried to ignore him and continued staring straight ahead.

"He kind of looks… Hi-Tech, are you sure he's okay? He looks like he's asleep with his eyes open," said the African-American _elephant_ who had poked his head in to talk to Hi-Tech. I still didn't know anyone else's codenames. Well, besides the two ninja, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The guys who had turned me in.

"Um, well, I kind of talked him into it," Hi-Tech said weakly. I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Talked him into it?" Came the dubious reply from a female redhead with a southern accent.

"Uh… yeah," Hi-Tech answered. "But, um…"

"We don't have all day," blond hair-gel-man snapped.

"Can we just put him in the brig and be done with it?" Hi-Tech said weakly.

I resisted the urge to cackle, but not by much.

"How did Hi-Tech convince you?" balloon-popper asked me slowly, leaning down so we were face to face. "Can you tell me?"

_Oh, so now we've moved on from idle threats to belittlement and unfounded condescension. Great. _"Only if you have a more amusing offer than he does," I replied.

"How can I know if it's more amusing if you won't tell me?" he replied, rubbing his gelled spikes of doom.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," I answered, smirking.

"Can we please just take him to the brig?" Hi-Tech tried again. "Please, Duke?"

Spiky balloon killer glanced up. "Sure," he said reluctantly, stepping back.

"So you're Duke, eh?" I murmured, glancing around. "Fascinating."

"This kid's giving me the creeps!" Tyrannosaurus Rex the African-American exclaimed.

"I haven't been a kid since freshman year," I snorted.

"According to your files, that was just last year," Calamity Jane (as I was calling the southern accented redhead) said, glancing at a computer monitor.

"A lot can happen in a year," I replied, shrugging.

"Can we just put him in the brig now?" Hi-Tech asked nervously.

"How many times are you going to ask that?" I demanded.

"As many as it takes before they do it," he replied defensively.

"Yeah, yeah, Hi-Tech, we get it. Okay, Heavy Duty, take him to the brig," said Duke-the-spiky, waving a hand dismissively in my direction.

"Okay," Heavy Duty (the name made more sense than anything I was thinking of) agreed, not moving.

I stood. "Don't worry, I'll go quietly. I can be a good boy, if I try," I said, giving spike-man-Duke a disgusted look. Some people. I mean, it's not as if I'm stupid or anything… In fact, I'm a genius. And not self-proclaimed, either. I know when to make a fuss, and when to wait for the time to strike. Not only was everyone expecting me to attack, we were underwater, in their submarine base thing. What had they called it, the Grand Titan? Sea Triton? Something like that. Either way, now was most definitely not a prime time to attempt an escape, unless one enjoys obtaining the bends.

"Okay, um, the brig is this way," Hi-Tech said quickly, still not moving anything besides his head and hands, which were still shaking. Maybe he was on caffeine, or maybe he was just really hyperactive normally. Either way, he couldn't seem to stay still. "I'll lead, Heavy Duty follows," he finished.

"Better get a move on," Calamity Jane suggested after a long moment of no one moving.

Hi-Tech dashed for the door, and I dutifully followed, Heavy-Duty falling in behind me. I had to say, I was rather eager to get locked away-- the sooner I was locked up, the sooner I could get out. I hate the suspense of waiting. Better to get it over with. Though there are some things in life I'd rather avoid altogether…

* * *

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

I was trying to get a decent nap in before we met up with Hawk when klaxons began wailing and there were more flashing red lights than you see on a Christmas tree gone haywire. After dragging myself off of my board-like bunk, I scrambled down the narrow hall. I glanced down at my sigma suit communicator when I realized someone was yelling from it.

"_--attack! Repeat, we are under attack! Report to your battle stations!"_ Hi-Tech shrilled like an opera singer.

This was perfect. Who was attacking us now, a sea turtle with shark teeth, or maybe a mutant killer anemone? Seriously! I figured my theory made about as much sense as a toothpick-sized kid throwing cars and cracking my ribs.

"Hi-Tech, stop yodeling and tell me who's attacking," I said, crawling up an access ladder to speed my ascent to the deck of the Sea Titan, which had surfaced moments before.

"_It's COBRA,_" Hi-Tech said. "_You're not going to believe this!_"

"What?" I grumbled, sure I knew where this was going. _Darn, I'm going to kill Snake Eyes if he's right even _one_ more time…_

"_They want the Kid,"_ Hi-Tech said.

"How did I know_?_" I exclaimed rhetorically, glancing at the pipes lining the access chute, as if they could answer me.

"_That is not acceptable,_" Duke said, cutting in on Hi-Tech.

"_I don't think Cobra's going to like that answer_," Hi-Tech said nervously.

"_Bad news,"_ Heavy Duty said, breaking into Hi-Tech and Duke's conversation.

"I don't want to know," I sighed, throwing open an access hatch and jumping out onto the deck of the Sea Titan. Sloughs of Sky B.A.T.s stood out in the open, all facing the traditional entrance. Jeez. Who would be dumb enough to run out there when every B.A.T. had its guns targeted there? Even a non-Ninja would know better than to do something stupid like that. Then the double doors burst open, and out ran… The Freak. Of course.

I felt my jaw drop as he careened head-first into the front line of B.A.T.s… and smashed right through them. Literally. Next, he spun to his right and dove over the side of the Sea Titan. It took a moment before my brain registered exactly what I'd just seen. _What?! That was the Freak! He escaped?! How? Arrrg!!_

"This is so stupid! I hate that freak! I hate Cobra!" I howled, smashing a B.A.T. with every word. For the next few minutes, I took my frustration out on the hapless robots. Before long, the B.A.T.s were demolished thanks to myself, Snake Eyes, Heavy Duty, and the big gun that he totes everywhere.

That was the easy part of the job. As for debriefing…? _That_ was painful.

* * *

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

"He escaped," Duke said blandly, a helpless look in his eye.

"We noticed," Thomas grumbled, stalking around the room like a caged tiger. "Or at least _I_ did, when he busted his way through a line of B.A.T,s and dove over the edge of the Sea Titan."

"You could have tried to stop him," Heavy Duty said, whirling on Thomas.

"Before or after the billion B.A.T.s that The Freak _didn't_ destroy blew me to kingdom come?" Thomas replied snipingly. Poor, poor fellow. He was obviously missing his sleep dreadfully.

"That kid is smarter than we gave him credit for," Heavy Duty said.

"And stronger!" Hi-Tech agreed. "He tore part of the ceiling out and escaped through the metal ductwork. He swiped fifty bucks from my lab desk, and… and…" Hi-Tech looked frantic. "He locked me out of the computers!"

"I should have known," Duke mused, stroking his chin. "He won all those awards… I guess he must be smart. I guess I just didn't realize that his scientific knowledge was so…advantageous, considering his situation."

"Science, not advantageous?" Hi-Tech snapped. "Hello, I'm here, aren't I? That's why I'm around, is because _SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT!"_ he screeched the last part.

"Oh yes, your science skills seem to be doing a great deal of good," Thomas quipped, whirling on the blonde geek. "Especially since The Freak locked you out of your own computers."

Hi-Tech glared at Thomas for a second. "He just changed the password."

"What is it?" Thomas asked, intrigued.

"Pi to the hundredth decimal," Hi-Tech said miserably. "I think I hit a wrong number or two."

Duke sighed. "You might as well try again. We need to get back into the computers soon; we're sitting ducks out here. Fortunately, Cobra took off as soon as the kid got away."

"Guess I should be counting my blessings, but I'm too busy counting my bruises," Thomas snarled. "We need to get that kid before Cobra does, and we can't do it sitting on our butts!"

"I'm aware of this," Duke snapped, sounding irritated. "Hi-Tech, get back on that computer!"

Hi-Tech moaned. "I'll try," he said, sinking into a computer chair and poising his finger above the keyboard. "Three. Point. One. Four." With every word, he jabbed his finger down decisively. "One. Five. Nine. Two. Six. Five. Three. Five. Eight--"

"Oh, please," Thomas snapped. "He's messing with you. The password is _not_ Pi to the…" he paused, and a gleeful, sadistic look crossed his face. "Oh, this is delicious," he said suddenly.

"_Nine,_" Hi-Tech said firmly, jamming his finger down on the number. "Seven. Nine--"

"You don't use the numbers!" Thomas said suddenly.

"What, write it out manually?!" Hi-Tech screeched. He placed his hands on the keyboard and began typing quickly. "Threepointonefouronefiveninetwosixfivethree--"

"No!" Thomas snapped, pushing Hi-Tech aside. "Here. 'Pi to the hundredth decimal'." Thomas typed the phrase and leaned back. "What am I bet?"

"Just hit the button," Hi-Tech snorted. "It won't work."

"What am I bet?" Thomas insisted.

"I already lost my fifty dollars," Hi-Tech moaned.

"I bet ten," Heavy Duty said. "I don't think a science nerd would do--"

"But he's not _just_ a science nerd. He's also cunning. He'd probably make a good ninja," Thomas mused, then glanced around the room. "Anyone else in on the bet?"

"No," Hi-Tech grumped. "Now just hit enter, already!" Thomas grinned, and with a flourish, pressed a key with over-the top dramatics. The screen returned to Hi-Tech's access page, and the Techie blanched in shock. "No… way…" he said quietly. "That's not funny!" he shouted. "Why would 'Pi to the hundredth decimal' be the password?"

"_Because you guys over-analyze everything. This is his practical joke reply to your over-the-top security that didn't manage to hold him_," I said.

"Precisely," Thomas said, folding his arms and grinning victoriously.

Heavy Duty scowled. "I should know better than to bet with a ninja," he grumbled, pulling out his wallet.

* * *

A/N: Yessss, HD, you should know better. Anyway, I went back and looked at my reviews, and I actually have quite a few, so thanks to everyone who did so! I have more being written, so I should update this soon. Stick around for more madness!


	10. The Bad Day

**Chapter 10: The Awful, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day**

_**-Philip Masterson-**_

I plunged into the frigid water, teeth clenched, heart pumping. My clothes began to weigh me down, so I slipped off my jeans and t-shirt, bidding them farewell as they slipped from my grasp and plummeted deep into the blackness of the ocean.

Surfacing a moment later, I gathered my bearings, and immediately wished I hadn't. The air teemed with robots toting big guns; they were like flies hovering over carrion. I was _not_ going to be road kill. Or driftwood, for that matter. Shaking my head, I braced myself and plunged my head underwater, stroking furiously.

When I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I burst up from the water and gulped down air into my oxygen-starved lungs. Far behind me, the flying robots fired their guns, and were, in turn, fired upon by the team who'd tried to hold me. Explosions filled the air like a fatal fireworks display.

Turning away, I swam towards the dark shapes in the distance, hoping it was land. I hoped I could make it to shore before the cold water affected me, but I wouldn't have bet anything on my survival. If nothing else, I hoped the U.S. Coast Guard would find me, hopefully before Cobra did-- if that was who had attacked my most recent captors.

Waves churned around me, yet somehow I managed to keep my head above water. _Come on,_ I thought, _if I ever needed strength, it's right now!_

* * *

As I floated closer to the shore, I began to worry. Not because of the big rocks near the shore, though they made me slightly nervous. No, it was the ridiculous amount of heavy artillery, tanks and other weapons-on-wheels parked along the shoreline that had me sweating.

The question was, whose weapons were they? Either way, I had a sneaking suspicion I knew why they were there.

I sighed. "Can't anything ever be easy?" I tried to say. Unfortunately, a wave caught me in the mouth halfway through, so it came out more along the lines of "Can't any-augh-phral-hurff-gak-grrph-magh-ptooey?" but I knew what I'd been trying to say, and there wasn't anyone else around to receive my drowning dialogue, so that was probably okay. I spat the last bit of water from my mouth and treaded water as best I could-- which wasn't very well, because I couldn't really feel my arms, legs, or most of my body. I had a headache and it felt like my skull was shrinking, courtesy of the frigid water.

Then I tried thinking. It felt like my brain was trying to engage in an aerobics class set in the middle of winter in Siberia-- and all it was wearing was a yoga outfit. Or maybe a pair of swimming trunks. A little more fitting to the occasion, anyway. As was probably obvious by my train of thoughts, I was losing it.

_I can't go forward, I can't go back. And I really think that a wetsuit would make more sense than swimming trunks. But a wetsuit still won't do much against the Siberian winter. _I shook my head, and almost drowned myself. It felt like my brain had frozen into solid ice and it rattled around inside my head, causing general discomfort. _What to do… what to do… hmm… what _**to**_ do… _**what**_to do… what to _**do**_… arrg! This isn't helping any!_

I rolled back on my back and tried to ignore the freezing water invading my ears. "Blagh," I said, which is masterson-ese for 'I hate ________.' In this case, I was blagh-ing about the water in my ears. I opened my eyes and stared up at the sky. "It might be easier to-- gagh-phut-kag-fhlah-phoot-gyah!" As before, the water decided my open mouth was a ready target and struck with little precision and much salt. Before long, I was treading water again and weighing my options. Finally, I decided it might be better to just sneak up to shore… maybe float down the coast a little, find a safe place to--

My eyes locked on a dock about a half-mile away. Bingo. Why had it taken me so long to notice? Well, aside from the drowning and the likelihood of hypothermia, it was probably my bad eyesight. In fact, the only reason I could tell the crowd waiting for me on the beach was weapons-on-wheels and not gigantic rocks was the fact that the huge brown blobs were moving. I'd never seen rocks move before, so I went with the most likely conclusion-- big guns.

Slipping over on my stomach, I started swimming awkwardly towards the long dark lump that I really, really hoped was a dock, and not a submarine or a barge or anything that _moved_.

* * *

_**-Storm Shadow-**_

"So we don't know where he is," I said, barely resisting the urge to strangle the blond techie.

"The water shorted out the tracker," Hi-tech admitted.

"Hi-tech, we're on a submarine and you didn't make the thing _waterproof_?" I asked in disbelief.

"Waterproofing costs money! You know what the budget's been like lately… we all had to make sacrifices. Mine was waterproofing!" Hi-Tech argued.

"_Mine was the katana that used to be hanging on my wall. I sold it on Ebay,_" Snake Eyes said, moving forward.

"Good for you," I snapped. "But now we're back to square one. We don't know where he is, or…" I sighed, punching the wall in irritation.

Hi-Tech shrugged. "We could always wait for Cobra to get him, spring him, and--"

"That's stupid," I said, interrupting the techie. "Cobra never gets what they want anyway. They're always settling for the next best thing. So instead of nabbing him, they'll probably nab someone easier to catch."

"According to the files, he's a one-of-a-kind catch," Hi-Tech replied, typing away at his precious computer.

"So they'll figure out an easier way to get their paws on him," I replied.

Duke strode into the room. "Good news. We're off the case. Government's drafting together a specialized team to take him down."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Great! I won't have to see his smug little face ever again!"

Duke coughed uncomfortably. "Actually… the government assigned me to put together a team from the personnel _here_ to track him down."

I groaned. "Brilliant."

"The government's budget has been a little tight lately," Duke explained. "We'll divide and conquer."

"Since when has _that_ ever worked?" I demanded.

"We'll make it work," Duke replied firmly.

"Who's on the team?" I asked.

"You, Snake Eyes and Hi-Tech," Duke said.

I sighed. "It'll take a _miracle_ to make this work."

"That's what we do," Duke said. "You'll be leaving as soon as we find Snake Eyes."

Hi-Tech glanced around agitatedly. "He was just here!"

Duke sighed. "That's the problem. He _was_." he strode from the room.

I glanced at the ceiling. "You can come down now, Snakes."

Snake Eyes dropped from the crawl space above the ceiling tiles. _"You ruined it,"_ he grumbled. "_I was trying to build a summer home up there_."

"Let's pack our bags," I grumbled. "Or no, wait, I never _un_packed."

Hi-Tech sighed, staring longingly at the Computers. "I have to leave… after I just got them _back_?"

"Oh, just give it a good-bye kiss and let's go," I snapped, stomping from the room. I could still hear Hi-Tech sputtering from the briefing room as the door slid shut behind me.

* * *

_**-Snake Eyes-**_

Despite Thomas's misgivings, we at least knew where to start. And, as usual, Thomas was doing his best to make the rest of us miserable.

"I hate diving," Thomas grumbled. "No freedom! I can't decide whether I want to breathe oxygen or carbon monoxide! And what if I feel like committing suicide and inhale water? The buddy system requires that you bring me up to the surface! And--"

"Oh, just get in the water," Hi-Tech snapped. "And make it snappy, or you won't need to gratify those suicidal urges…"

Thomas rolled his eyes. "This from the whimpy techie who can't even bring himself to walk away from a computer."

"Get in the water!" Hi-Tech yowled.

"_If you don't mind, I'll go first_," I said, vacating the scene. That way, if it turned into a _crime_ scene, I wouldn't be a witness…

* * *

A/N: I had this one done, really I did! (I'm just so lazy I hadn't uploaded it yet...) More to come soon! Thank you, thank you to all those who have reviewed so kindly, I appreciate your support and it makes me feel like it's actually being read. I'm not going to extort reviews from you folks, just know that reviews make me happy, and happy authors spend time on their stories and less time with writer's block. (or writer's pout...) Anywho, don't worry, I've got this story figured out (finally), and I should update soon. Thanks again for all the kind reviews!


	11. It's A Flop!

**Chapter 11: It's A Flop!**

-_**Snake Eyes**_-

"Nothing. Big fat nothing," Thomas grumbled. "I think we need to find Cobra and combine forces."

Hi-tech gave Thomas a look.

"What? They probably know more than we do!" Thomas said. "Promise them the kid, then steal him away. Simple."

Hi-Tech groaned. "Wasn't that _my _suggestion?"

Thomas shrugged. "I'm not being paid enough to work with you. So I'm not going to lend any of my great expertise."

"_If I were you, I'd look for an internet café or a hotel nearby."_ I said. "_There's plenty of those places around here, so let's get a move-on. And both of you shut up… now._"

Thomas sighed. "Fine."

Hi-Tech harrumphed and folded his arms.

"_Come on_," I said, heading off, and not looking back to see if they were following.

* * *

-_**Philip Masterson**_-

It was like ice fishing in Siberia. Despite the fact that I've never been ice fishing, or visited Siberia, I was convinced that was what it was like. So there I was, hanging from the underside of a dock, trying to decide if I should risk the civillians spotting me, or just wait until they left. I was trying to wait until grandpa and grandson gave up on the fish, but it wasn't working out as well as I expected. For example, my hands weren't working so well. I was shivering so badly I was probably shaking the dock. And I couldn't see so well, because these black dots kept invading my vision. Basically, I was doomed to blow my cover, such as it was. My hands were losing their strength, and my focus was starting to not. I considered making odd noises to scare the duo away, but I was losing my voice. So I reached over and gripped the edge of the dock. Unfortunately, before I could pull myself up and over the side, my hands gave way and I dropped into the water.

Gramps and grandson immediately peeked over the edge.

"Grampa," the kid exclaimed, "It's a guy!"

Gramps whipped out a cell phone and dialed 911, I think. I couldn't really tell, between the black dots and myopia. But he started explaining the situation, and I knew I had to split, fast. Except that I was too busy sinking. Talk about a nice day. Shot at, insulted, drowned… I couldn't think of anything worse that could happen to me.

Except maybe being resuscitated and locked up again.

That did it. I burst out of the water, scrambled up the dock and knocked Grandpa over. His cell phone went skittering across the dock and into the water. Kiddo was shrieking, and I took off, headed for the parking lot, not really sure where I was headed, except that it was away from the dock. And the ocean. I really wanted to get away from the ocean.

I scrambled across the parking lot and staggered onto the street… dressed in nothing but my boxers.

This day was a flop.

* * *

-_**Snake Eyes**_-

"So you're saying some guy wearing nothing but his boxers freaked out half of the tourist population yesterday?" Thomas asked the police officer at the desk, sounding more than a little bored. "No drowning victims, no escaped terrorists? The biggest thing in this town is a stripper?"

"It even made headlines," Hi-Tech said, peering at a newspaper sitting on a table in the corner. "Fuzzy picture, though."

The police officer sighed. "Camera phone. No one else caught him on camera."

"That's surprising," Thomas said.

"The article exaggerates. Our tourist population is about four people right now." the officer replied glumly. His walkie-talkie squawked, and a fuzzy bit of chatter burst from it. He glanced at it and scowled. He picked it up and glanced at Thomas, scowling. "On it," he said, then picked up the phone. He glanced at Thomas. "If you'll excuse me," he said pointedly, glaring at my obnoxious friend.

Thomas dropped the donut he was studying and licked his fingers appreciatively. "Toodles," he said, marching out of the room. Hi-Tech followed him absently, still carrying the newspaper. I sighed and followed them out of the building.

"_That was rude,_" I told Thomas as soon as I could get his attention. _"You don't touch other people's food."_

"I know," Thomas smirked, "but did you see the look on his face? Priceless, totally priceless."

"You guys find this picture weird?" Hi-Tech asked, still eyeing the newspaper.

"What, a guy wandering around in his boxers? I do it all the time, when I'm not wearing my government-commissioned pajamas," Thomas said. "Seriously, talk about conspicuous. A _real_ ninja would never wear… ah, never mind," he grumbled, seeing that Hi-Tech was not listening.

"I mean, no one else got a shot. Apparently he threw the first guy's phone into the ocean after tackling him and hitting him," Hi-Tech continued.

"So?" Thomas snapped. "I'm hungry. Where's a bakery? I'm in the mood for an apple fritter. And I need coffee."

"It says he broke another person's camera by crushing it between his hands. And that he was young, maybe as young as fourteen." Hi-Tech scowled. "I'm very suspicious."

Thomas snarled and tore the newspaper from Hi-Tech's hands, ripping it in half. "And I'm very hungry," he retorted, throwing the paper over his shoulder. "Now where's that bakery?!"

"There's a fish and chips stand over there," Hi-Tech said, pointing in one direction and watching the newspaper fall to the ground.

"If they don't have coffee and apple fritters, I'm not interested," Thomas replied. "We've been up all night, and we didn't even get stakeout food."

"I'm more of a white meat person myself," Hi-Tech said absently, picking up the pieces of newspaper.

"Stake-_OUT_, not stake _HOUSE_," Thomas snarled, collaring Hi-Tech. "Are you listening to me at all?"

I poked Thomas in the shoulder.

"What?" He snapped.

I pointed at 'Suzie's Sweet Shoppe and Coffee House', maybe three storefronts down.

"Oh," Thomas said. He dropped Hi-Tech and glanced at me. "You want a bagel?"

"I want a new newspaper," Hi-Tech snapped, marching past the two of us. "Now come on, I'm sure they'll have something besides food there…"

"Ha!" Thomas cackled, "Don't bet on it!"

* * *

Half an hour later, Thomas was still pouting. "I can't believe they didn't have apple fritters," he grumbled.

Hi-Tech shook out his newspaper, smirking. "How's your coffee?" he asked.

"Cold," Thomas snapped. "You done reading that thing?"

"No," Hi-Tech replied, "I'm analyzing it for clues."

"Clues? Like where to find a place with apple fritters?" Thomas asked, straightening up with interest. Hi-Tech decided not to grace that ridiculous question with an answer, though I couldn't tell if he refused to respond so he could annoy Thomas, or if he just couldn't bring himself to reply. For whatever reason, it did nothing to improve Thomas's disposition. As the seconds dragged by, I could see Thomas's gaze intensifying, and I knew if I didn't do something soon, the paper would be dead, and possibly Hi-Tech as well.

"_Are you still hungry?"_ I asked.

Thomas glanced at me. "No," he said shortly, "I'm fine. I always survive on a cup of coffee after staying up all night investigating small towns and hoping to catch sight of the freak who cracked my ribs."

I sighed.

"And if that weren't enough," Thomas continued, his tone beginning to grow louder, "I had to investigate the small costal towns with a freak ninja who can't talk and a geek who doesn't have the decency to admit he's not human."

Hi-Tech glanced momentarily at Thomas, then returned his gaze to the paper, though his eyes narrowed slightly.

"_Thomas…_" I tried, but he was into his monologue by now, obviously trying to elicit a response from Hi-Tech.

"Never mind that we could wait for Cobra to catch him, never mind that he's probably one of the biggest threats and the government should have more men on this, no, they send me and two _freaks_ to find him. Still, you know what they say: it _takes a freak to catch a freak_."

"_I think _you _say that,"_ I told him.

"Whatever," Thomas snapped, glancing at Hi-Tech, who was still calmly perusing the paper. After several seconds, he set it down.

"Good," he said. "Well, I think I have a lead."

"It's about time!" Thomas said. "Now let's go."

"Wait!" Hi-Tech cried. "I haven't told you where we're going yet!"

"I don't care where _you're_ going, _I'm_ going back to the last town. They had a Safeway there," Thomas snapped. "With a bakery. And apple fritters. The freak does _not_ have priority over my pastries."

Hi-Tech groaned, but knew better than to argue with an irritable Arashikage.

* * *

A/N: Well, I finally found time to upload something... I'm getting somewhere on this story, but it keeps taking these twists and turns that I don't expect... still, they're fun twists and turns, and the ninja and Philip are taking me along for the ride. (I'm still not quite sure this is a good thing...) Keep reading, review if you dare-- and thanks!!


	12. Revenge Flavored Pastries

**Chapter 12: Revenge-Flavored Pastries**

-_**Philip Masterson**_-

It had all gone so well until I bumped into them outside of Safeway. Fortunately, Storm Shadow was munching on a donut of some sort and didn't notice me. And when I say I bumped into them, I mean it in the literal sense. I walked smack-dap into the techie, bounced off of him and ran into Snake Eyes.

"Ow!" Hi-Tech yelped, jumping back and stomping on Storm Shadow's toe.

"Arrg!" Storm Shadow yowled, throwing his arms in the air and sending half of some sort of donut careening to its doom on the wet pavement.

"Sorry!" I replied, hopping back and hunching my shoulders. I'd never been happier about wearing a hooded sweatshirt-- so far, it didn't seem that Hi-Tech or Storm Shadow recognized me. However, Snake Eyes was staring at me suspiciously. Great. All I'd wanted was breakfast, and I ended up running into these guys again. _Literally!_ I wondered where the rest of their team was, but I certainly wasn't going to ask them.

"Yeah, well, be more careful next time," Hi-Tech said, brushing himself off and throwing a worried look over his shoulder at Storm Shadow, who was staring at his apple fritter in dismay.

"Um, yeah," I said. It was kind of weird to see them in street clothes, but then, in their ninja outfits they would have drawn attention really quickly. One downside of this (for them) was the fact that they probably couldn't carry as many weapons-- though I wouldn't bet any money on their being completely weaponless, especially Storm Shadow.

"It's…wet," Storm Shadow said tonelessly, staring at his apple fritter and blinking several times. I started to skirt past him, hoping to make it into the store before Snake Eyes finally figured out where he'd seen me before. Unfortunately, my luck had already run out with my surviving the ocean, and Storm Shadow grabbed my shoulders, shaking me. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I HAD TO WAIT FOR THAT?!" he howled.

My hood fell down.

It was almost comical, the way we all froze. Storm Shadow and I just kind of looked at each other, Hi-Tech dropped his newspaper, and Snake Eyes stared at me.

"Er… hi," I finally said, and Storm Shadow snapped out of his stupor.

"Ha!" he shouted, "I knew coming here would be a good idea!"

"I knew I should have stayed in bed today," I shot back.

"Why look, Baroness," someone said, walking up from behind Snake Eyes, "Isn't it just our luck that we were having breakfast together in Starbucks this morning?"

"Destro!" Hi-Tech hissed, whirling around on his heel. Snake Eyes moved sideways and I got a good look at the iron-faced Destro. He was wearing a large overcoat that did nothing to hide his muscular structure. Behind him stood Baroness, her dark hair blowing slightly in the morning breeze.

Storm Shadow glanced back and forth between me and Destro, obviously trying to decide who he wanted to strangle first. "Just my luck," he muttered.

Snake Eyes stepped back into a fighting stance, and Destro whipped out a pistol.

"Ahem," I said, squirming uncomfortably under Storm Shadow's tightening grip, "You know, there are civillians in the area. Maybe we should move away from the entrance before that goes off."

Storm Shadow glared at me. "Don't go all goody-two-shoes on us, freak. You're the reason this is happening."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

Snake Eyes sighed.

"P-p-put down the gun," Hi-Tech said nervously, "a-a-and nobody g-gets hurt."

Destro just laughed, cocking the weapon and turning it on Hi-Tech.

Hi-tech whimpered. "C-come on, now… the civilians…" A negotiator Hi-Tech definitely was not. Weapons really didn't seem to be his area of expertise. At least, not weapons in the hand of the enemy.

"Destro, lower the gun or I'm killing Storm Shadow and fleeing the scene of the crime," I snapped.

The gun wavered for a moment, then shifted until it was aimed at my head. I rolled my eyes. "Ooh, scary. You guys need me _alive_. I'm not afraid of you."

Baroness chuckled. "How do you know we can't simply--"

"If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it before now," I snapped. "You want me alive. So stop playing around, put the gun away, and I'll come peacefully."

Destro hesitated for a moment, then whipped the gun on Storm Shadow. "Release him," he ordered.

Storm Shadow released my shoulders.

"Ow," I grunted, rubbing them. "That really _hurt_. You should do something about that grip of yours."

Storm Shadow growled something unintelligibly.

I calmly placed my hands on my head and took a step forward. "Storm Shadow, Hi-Tech, Snake Eyes…" I began, "run while you can."

Destro turned on Snake Eyes.

I stopped walking. "I'm not moving until they're out of harm's way," I said firmly.

Destro turned the gun on me. Hi-Tech and Snake Eyes started edging away. He whipped the gun around again. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow split like a cheap pair of jeans. Hi-Tech stood there for a moment with a blank look on his face, then raced back into the Safeway.

I smirked. "Okay, let's get on with this."

Destro sighed. "You aren't really coming without a fight, are you?"

I shook my head.

Baroness pulled out a weapon of her own, which, since she hadn't revealed it before, I figured was not as lethal as the one Destro was waving around. I waited until her hand tensed slightly and jumped straight up, dodging the dart and twisting in midair, landing between the two of them and knocking both of them in the head with the heels of my palms. They stumbled sideways, and Desto whirled his gun around and fired. I managed to just dodge the whizzing bullet. I can't fully dodge a bullet, but since he wasn't aiming, my reflexes managed to get me out of the way.

Baroness fired from the other side, I dropped to the ground and kicked Destro's feet out from under him. I curled into a ball and rolled aside. Destro grasped Baroness's ankle as he fell, apparently thinking he'd grabbed me. Baroness tumbled to the ground on top of Destro.

I took a running start, leaping up to cling onto the 'Y' of 'Safeway' that was on the outside of the building.

"Look mommy!" some kid yelled from the parking lot, "it's Spider-Man!"

Baroness and Destro were firing wildly at me, and as I pulled myself up and over the letter, I felt a burning tear across my right shoulder, then another across my left calf. I leaped from the letters to the top of the building and hauled ass to the other side, dropping onto a truck who was loading something into the back of the store.

From there I leaped to the ground and glanced around for an escape when I was grabbed from behind, a hand clasped over my eyes and the other over my mouth.

"Gotcha'," Storm Shadow hissed in my ear.

I bit his hand.

"Arrg!" he yowled, releasing my eyes and jamming something sharp between my shoulder blades. "Just give me a reason kid, I swear…"

I relaxed slightly on hearing someone walk up from the left. I couldn't move my head, but since I could hear him, I knew it wasn't Snake Eyes. I was still hopeful.

"You got him!"

I realized, belatedly, that whoever it was hadn't objected to some guy pulling a weapon on a minor. Hi-Tech. Just my luck.

"Mah, mphoo gawph mwee," I grumbled.

"What?" Hi-Tech asked.

Grudgingly, Storm Shadow released my mouth, wrapping his large forearm around my throat instead.

"I said: Yeah, you got me," I told him.

* * *

-_**Storm Shadow**_-

Ah, the sweet, sweet taste of revenge.

Of course, it would have been sweeter had I been able to hold onto the freak for more than twenty-five seconds. That was how long it took for Snakes to grab my shoulder and point in the direction of the large COBRA airship headed our direction. Distracted by the movement, I didn't realize that I'd loosened my grip on the knife I so desperately wanted to plunge into the freak's back.

That is, until the Freak twisted to the right, dropped down and escaped. Sure, he was bleeding a little, and yeah, I was still holding the knife, but I hadn't reacted in time, and once again, the Freak had made a fool out of me. Fortunately, the Freak didn't seem to be moving as fast as he had previously, though he still managed about forty-six steps before he collapsed.

Mmmm… sweet, sweet revenge.

It tasted like apple fritter.

* * *

A/N: Ah, that last line is so hokey... I love it! Sorry for the long wait... hope it was worthwhile!

Don't you love the random Chapter title? I was tired and hyper... thanks for any reviews! (hint)


	13. A Shocking Loss

**Chapter 13: A Shocking Loss**

-_**Snake Eyes**_-

While Thomas was standing numbly, muttering something about freaks, revenge, and apple fritters, I moved over to join Hi-Tech, who was making sure the kid was still alive.

"I…" Hi-Tech paused and held his stomach for a moment, then continued. "I think he's alive… for now. Oooh," he moaned again, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "we need to stop the bleeding, though."

_No, really?_ I thought, feeling slightly sarcastic, _Never would have thought we'd need to do _that_. I mean, his blood has _only_ soaked his entire shirt. And then there's the puddle beneath him, though part of that could be from the rain… _

I glanced upward, then knelt beside Hi-Tech and began to remove the kid's shirt. Hi-tech was breathing heavily. I glanced at him, wondering what his problem was. _"You okay?"_ I asked.

"Ee-eeyeah," Hi-Tech said uncertainly. "Just…Hrrm," he grunted, glancing away as I lifted the shirt away from the kid's body.

I rolled the dripping, now-crimson t-shirt into a ball and tossed it aside. Thomas grumbled something, though I decided not to pay any attention to him. He was too busy gloating to be of help anyway.

"That…that's a lot of…blood," Hi-Tech said weakly.

"It's diluted from the rain, doofus," Thomas growled, marching over to join us. "He's fine. Probably faking it so he can get away."

I ignored him and carefully examined the wound. It was deep, and long. It looked like the kid had backed into the knife and twisted. He must have thought Thomas was distracted enough to drop the knife… obviously, he didn't know Thomas as well as he thought.

"_It's deep,_" I told Thomas. "_We might need to take him--_"

"No." Thomas said firmly. "I refuse to take him to the hospital again. Not after what happened last time!"

I shook my head, checking to make sure there were no other… wait, there was a gunshot wound on his shoulder… _"Gunshot wound on his shoulder. Probably Destro_." I said.

"Gunshot?! Destro?! He's dying!" Hi-Tech wailed. "Oh my gosh, the blood…"

"Aw, shaddup!" Thomas growled, bopping the inconsolable techie on the head.

"_Ah…"_ I said, plucking a small dart from the base of his neck, "_here's what took him down."_

Thomas scowled. "What's that?"

"_It's a dart, dummy,"_ I said.

Thomas scowled. "Yeah, I know. What's in it?"

"_Probably something to knock him out,_" I said, treating Thomas to one of my more irritated looks.

"Knock him out?" Hi-Tech demanded, pointedly _not_ looking at the kid.

"Yeah, so they could pick him up with that airship that is getting ever closer," Thomas said, pointing upwards.

"_I'll get him,"_ I said, reaching down and lifting the kid up and draping him face-down over Thomas's shoulder.

"I thought you said you would get him!" Thomas snapped.

"_I got him," _I said. "_You'll carry him._"

Thomas grumbled something about blood staining his favorite shirt and marched away, a trail of diluted blood marking his path.

Hi-Tech took one look at the fluid, moaned, and passed out.

* * *

-_**Hi-Tech**_-

I woke up to the singularly unpleasant sensation of Snake Eyes' shoulder digging into my solar plexus. "Ow, argh, eep!" I yelped, and he heaved me off of his shoulder.

"_You're awake,_" he signed after standing me up in front of him. I had a feeling I shouldn't look over at the bench behind me.

"Obviously," I intoned. "How's…"

"_Let's put it this way-- keep your eyes in that direction,_" Snake Eyes said, pointing to the right. "_I'm waiting for Thomas to bring the car around._"

"Can I help if I'm hemophobic?" I grumbled.

"_I wouldn't know_," Snake Eyes replied. "_You'll sit up front with Thomas. I'll stay with the kid_."

"Great," I asseverated.

A car pulled up alongside us, and Storm Shadow rolled down the windows on the driver's and passenger's side. "Get in," he growled at the two of us. Then he glanced at me. "If you pass out again, I'm going to do something nasty to you. I just don't know what yet."

"_Thomas, that's hardly encouraging,_" Snake Eyes chided, opening the back door of the car.

I slipped into the front seat as Storm Shadow sputtered for a moment. "It wasn't _supposed_ to be encouraging!" he finally snapped.

Snake Eyes shut the door. Thomas glanced in the rearview mirror and grinned. "Off we go," he smirked.

"I don't think so," someone said from the driver's side, and Zartan suddenly appeared beside Storm Shadow, a gun held level with his temple.

"Um…" I said, but Storm Shadow shot me a livid look so intense I decided if I didn't remain tacit he might kill me before he attacked Zartan.

Destro and Baroness walked up from beside the car. Behind me, I heard Snake Eyes sigh loudly.

"Ichi," Storm Shadow said loudly, still glaring at Zartan. I frowned, wondering what he'd just said. Eatchee?

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Zartan demanded. Destro frowned in thought, and Baroness glanced upward, trying to remember something.

"Ni," Storm Shadow replied to Zartan. Snake Eyes leaned back, relaxing in his seat, obviously resigned to fate. I wondered if I should resign myself too, but decided that I wanted to go down fighting. So long as there wasn't much blood, I'd be fine…

"What are you saying?" Baroness demanded. "What are you planning?"

"San," Storm Shadow continued.

"Not another word," Destro said firmly, his gun pointed at Storm Shadow.

"Yon, anata wa baka," Storm Shadow replied. Was he speaking in Japanese? I didn't know, I'm only somewhat fluent in Spanish and French.

"I mean it," Destro snarled.

"GO!" Storm Shadow yelled, and ducked, throwing his door open.

I yelped in surprise as a bullet whizzed past my nose, then I opened my door, bumping it into Baroness as I scrambled out of the vehicle. Snake Eyes had also abandoned the car. As he and Storm Shadow delivered a stunning combination of side kick, round kick, punch to Destro, I couldn't help thinking that we'd left someone behind. Then the car peeled away from the curb. I wondered why anyone would bother to take that instead of us when I remembered. The terrorist teen was still inside the vehicle, unconscious.

Storm Shadow yelled in sudden comprehension, and Destro took the opportunity to take off. Baroness had disappeared, and Zartan had taken the car. Snake Eyes took off after Destro, but he stopped after a few seconds. Shaking his head, he returned, dragging his feet. Slowly I realized exactly what had just transpired.

We'd lost.

Cobra had won.

* * *

A/N: Note for this chapter: Hemophobia is the fear of blood, not a typo.

"Ichi," "ni," "san," "yon," and "go" are the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 in Japanese. "Anata wa baka" means "you idiot".


	14. Plan B

**Chapter 14: Plan "B"**

-_**Storm Shadow**_-

"If we're lucky, Zartan will be pulled over for speeding by one of the two police officers in this area," I said sarcastically. No one replied, so I shrugged and spoke again. "Seriously though, he was going, like, sixty when he turned that corner down there."

Snake Eyes just looked at me, obviously not in the mood for my witty comments. Hi-Tech looked inconsolable, scuffing his shoes in the reddish water that was pooled below the bench The Freak had been lying on mere minutes earlier.

"Oh come on guys, this isn't a big deal, we just move to plan B," I said.

"What _is_ plan B?" Hi-Tech asked faintly.

"I think we've discussed it several times," I snapped. "Hi-Tech, you're a computer maniac, and I'm sure your experience history entails a few less-than-legal skills."

"Yeah, so?" Hi-Tech asked defensively, a challenge in his eyes.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight," I snapped. "Don't tell me I'm the only one who remembers plan B!"

"_Wasn't that the one where we went to Safeway for your apple fritters? Plan A was following Hi-Tech's lead,_" Snake Eyes said after a moment.

"No, I've already had my apple fritter, fortunately. I'm feeling much better now, though I only got _half _before The Freak made me drop it," I scowled.

"Then what, pray tell, is this plan B you speak of?" Hi-Tech demanded.

"Capture the flag," I replied. "Or, well, The Freak-flag. A seek-and-retrieve mission."

Snake Eyes glanced up, intrigued. "_I see…"_

"But there's the problem of not knowing the location of COBRA's base," Hi-Tech said.

"Au contraire, my technologically gifted compadre." I smirked condescendingly. "Unlike you, I remembered to waterproof the tracker I put on The Freak."

"You waterproofed… wait, you put a tracker on him?" Then Hi-Tech scowled. "They'll find it easily."

I grinned. "No, I don't think so."

Snake Eyes gave me a wary look. _"I don't like the sound of this…_"

I smirked viciously. "You shouldn't." Turning away, I glanced across the street. "Ah… revenge. It tastes like apple fritter. I am revenged! And a little hungry. Anyone up for some clam chowder?"

* * *

-_**Philip Masterson**_-

"Do I get a bandage for my back?"

No answer.

"How about a donut? Come on guys, I haven't eaten in twenty-four hours." I sighed, leaning my head against the cool cement wall. "I feel faint. I might not remember the formula at all if you keep this up."

"We don't need you to tell us the formula," A strange, warbling voice said.

I glanced around, wondering who had said that. "What?"

"Patience, we are currently under attack. Rest assured, your scan will commence as soon as the threat has been annihilated."

I scowled. "Scan? Threat? Annihilate? Wait, what scan?"

"It's a simple matter to retrieve information from your brain. Unfortunately, it's quite another to keep that brain in pristine condition while retrieving the data."

I jumped to my feet. "What are you--" I toppled back onto the cot I'd been seated on, gasping in pain and shock. My vision blurred and, for a moment, I thought I would faint.

"You've lost quite a bit of blood, but you should survive until the scan. Don't worry, you won't remember a thing."

I scowled. "You didn't even fix up my wound! What if it gets infected? Why didn't you clean the wound?"

"Why bother?" the voice replied. "You won't be able to care once the scan is complete."

I gritted my teeth angrily. "How cruel! How dare you--"

Chilling laughter interrupted my complaint. I had a bad feeling about this…

* * *

-_**Snake Eyes**_-

"I can't believe you're counting on COBRA not cleaning his cut," Hi-Tech said.

"His strength is provided by a virus that's stimulated by a certain chemical," Thomas replied breezily. "They'll just suck the info out of his head and dispose of him."

"How do you know that?"

"We --er-- _they_ have done it at least ten times that I know of. Top-secret military weapons research scientists don't give up their info without a fight. They're usually brain-dead by the time we're done… but it works great at getting their info. It hasn't failed yet."

"That's just sick."

"And illegal. Which is why Sigma 6 doesn't do it," Thomas said breezily. "Otherwise I'm sure we'd be all over this sort of operation. It'd make beating Cobra a lot easier."

"I would never--" Hi-Tech began indignantly.

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. 'I hacked into the Pentagon once'," Thomas said dismissively. "Now come on, have you finished that soup yet?"

"Well excuse me for being a slow eater," Hi-Tech snapped.

"You're in the military, for Pete's sake! Didn't they teach you how to eat a full meal in thirty seconds?" Thomas demanded irritably. "I learned how to eat that way before I was five years old!"

"Eating that quickly isn't good for you," Hi-Tech said imperiously.

"_Waiting_ isn't good for me. It makes me twitchy," Thomas said, fingering his steak knife with a glint in his eyes. A moment later, he tossed it across the room, narrowly grazing Hi-Tech's head. The knife buried itself in the wall with an ominous thump.

Hi-Tech gulped the rest of his clam chowder down frantically. "I'm done," he gasped a moment later. "Let's go."

"Finally!" Thomas said exasperatedly, jumping to his feet. Just then, his cell phone rang. "Hello?" he barked irritably, then, "Go away, I'm in the restroom."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Stop thinking that at me!" Thomas hissed. "It's vulgar and unnecessary!"

Hi-Tech gave the two of us funny looks.

Thomas waved his hand dismissively in his direction and spoke into the phone. "Yeah, yeah, Connie, I know I'm supposed to meet you for a date at six, but I have a previous engagement."

"Are you talking to Duke?" Hi-Tech asked after a moment.

"Oh, don't start with the whining again, darling, it just makes me irritated. I can play the silent game better than you can-- though Snakes has both of us beat, I daresay."

I scowled at him.

Thomas grinned evilly in my direction and continued. "No, we're going to Cabro laboratories for an antidote to this trouble I've been having with enjoying my shore leave. You understand."

Hi-Tech looked ready to blow a gasket. "Cab-row labs? Kaab roe laboratories? Storm Shadow…"

"Hsst," Thomas snapped. "I'm trying to listen to Hauser."

"_He is a fascinating conversationalist, if a bit cliché_," I agreed. "_But he starts repeating himself after a few minutes. His conversations tend to go downhill after the two hundred and fifty-sixth second._"

"I suppose you've counted," Hi-Tech sighed.

"_I have to do something to amuse myself since I can't talk,_" I replied defensively.

"Okay, okay, honey, see you tomorrow, love you too and all that." Thomas closed the phone with a decisive snap. "They have no leads and Connie wanted to make me as miserable as I make him. Can't say I blame him, honestly."

Hi-Tech sighed. "So where are we going."

"To Cabro Laboratories," Thomas said simply.

"Where is that?"

Thomas scowled. "Ever heard of anagrams, smart one? We're going to the _Cabro Laboratories_, retrieving something we need so I can _ENJOY MY SHORE LEAVE_!" Snorting, he marched out of the restaurant.

"Oh, he meant the _COBRA_ base," Hi-Tech said after a moment, following Thomas out. "I get it!"

I sighed and threw down a tip before leaving also. It was going to be a long day…

* * *

A/N: Mweh. I can't believe I had this written for four months and never uploaded it... hmmm...

Anyway, hope you liked!


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